The National Enquirer Essay, Research Paper

The National Enquirer

UFO causes a 40-car pileup

The thunder and lightning that disturbed this cold dreary morning was caused by an unidentified flying object. Bob Thomas, a teacher at Orem High School, was driving on the freeway when he spotted a UFO He immediately called 911 on his cell phone. The rain was pounding on the road and then out of no where a huge flash of light lit the sky. Before Bob what was going on he was inside the alien ship. There were nine and a half butt ugly aliens standing around him. Their body’s were all colors at once but yet none at all. The aliens had four faces each a lion, eagle, shark, and a man like face. Their body’s were covered up with black hooded robes. They had wings with feathers. Where there where no feathers, was a dark leathery reptile like flesh. They implanted a device in him that caused him to turn into a big fat gogalibalushi witch we would call a giant turkey. They did more crazy experiments on him before they let him go. The last experiment was to implant a small spy camera in his eye, a small microphone in his ear, and a tiny transmitter in his brain. Then put him back but not in his car. He was in the middle of the road. A big semi-truck a carrying frozen turkeys swerved to avoid hitting him and rolled over. An old man watching had a heart attack. Frozen turkeys were everywhere.