GAMES Essay, Research Paper

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A long time i have tried

not to get involved

not to get attached not to fall in love

i promised i would never let anyone break my heart

i swore id never play that painful part

look at me now…..

im falling so fast

so hard to hang on when i want this to last

the look in his eyes

the smile on his face

the sound of his voice

the invasion of my space…

i want it all , i beg thatt it never goes away

that he never leaves

he never breaks my already fragile heart

i dont want to cry

its gonna make my lonely soul die

god why?

why did i find him

i should have walked away

i choose the wrong path

i chose to stay

what the *censored* was i thinking?

im down on my knees

begging you to stop

stop these feelings inside me

please……..

they keep getting stronger

its makeing me weaker

i dont want to give in

i see it already

the nights full of tears

when he decides he does not want to stay near

what is my problem?

it was always soo easy

i used to play them like a game

i never cared

i played with their minds

i *censored*ed with their hearts

i made them fall when all i did was lie

i never loved

*censored* that

i never hurt and i never cried

at least not from living that lie

not from playing those games

not from hurting the people that cared about me

i only cried cause i could never feel the shame

i know this time its not gonna be the same

im falling so fast

i know ill get burned

i see the tables have turned

my hate for love is growing stronger

only because im takeing that path

the one that will make a broken heart last

i question my motives

i look to my past

whare the hell am i going

whare ever ill get there fast

i hope he will join me for he made me fall

i hope i dont loose him for i took down my wall

i dont want the tears to be turned upon me

i cant deal with the pain that will become my reality

so when this all happens

ill look back to the games

and relize why i live with such beauty but drowen in deep pain

I know now I am the only one to blame……

Aryn Emily Jacques