Legalization Of Cannibalism Essay, Research Paper

Virginia Woolf once said, “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” This is one of the many arguments behind legalizing cannibalism. If the act of eating other human beings was legalized and regulated it will solve all the problems of modern society. Cannibalism has been around since the Neolithic times. It is not currently practiced, but I think a revival of this age-old practice would benefit everyone. Cannibalism can solve world hunger. It can improve our criminal justice system. Cannibalism will also put an end to over population and spice up some of the current cooking shows. The legalization of cannibalism is what our modern world needs to turn itself around.

The common idea behind using cannibalism to end world hunger is that we can kill half the people in the world and feed them to the other half. I disagree with that. Humans can live without their pinkey fingers, appendixes, and tonsils. This amounts to more than four hundred grams of useable meat per person. If the entire world donated those body parts, we would have 2, 400, 000, 000, 000 grams of meat or 2, 400, 000 metric tons or 3, 779, 250 cows worth of meat. These figures do not include the number of people who die and who would be edible. This, combined with the other foods currently available would help feed all the hungry people of the world. By legalizing and encouraging organized cannibalism we can help hungry and malnourished people everywhere.

If cannibalism is legalized the world will be much better behaved. I do not think that the majority of criminals would commit crimes if they knew that their appendages would end up in the supermarket if they were caught. This would also apply to schools. Detentions do not work, but I think that if you break a rule you will have to give a limb to be eaten. If you are late five times, it is a toe. If you skip an English class, the punishment is a pound of flesh. The Young Offenders Act should also be altered. The punishment for young offenders would just be less than the punishment for adults. My improved correctional system would completely significantly reduce crime from our streets.

Cannibalism would provide economically viable solutions to the problems of modern society. Today there is a large homeless problem. Some have suggested feeding half the homeless to the other half. I disagree with this. I suggest we eat all the homeless people. People in alpine plane crashes would be composed of a better state of mind. Instead of feeling guilty about eating their friends, they would realize that it is the best way to prevent death. Judaism suggests the act of cannibalism. It states many times in the Old Testament that people should not waste. By not eating our dead, we are wasting a perfectly good food product. Car companies could create cars that could run on human beings. Instead of getting 25 km to the gallon you could get one hundred kilometers to the person.

In conclusion, the legalization of cannibalism would greatly improve the quality of life for all the people of the world. In addition to helping keep down cemetery density, it would help prevent world hunger. Cannibalism would help make our streets safer for our children. Cannibalism would also help close the hole in the ozone layer by reducing carbon dioxide emissions. It would also help eliminate the homeless problem. The legalization of cannibalism is what the world needs to help bring it into the twenty-first century. As the old joke goes, “Mommy, I don’t like Grandma.” “Be quiet, and eat the other half.”