Summary Of Anais Nin’s “Birth” Essay, Research Paper

Anais Nin lived her life as a strong courageous woman. She was often ahead of her time in many respects. In the passage, Birth, there is an unprecedented willingness to let others see into her life?s experiences in graphic detail with descriptions bordering on gruesome. In this writing, she writes about the extremely personal, dramatic and intense experience of going through a stillbirth delivery. The scene depicts how the feelings and emotions that are racing through her are in direct contrast to the individuals and environment around her. She struggles with the fact that she must go through the pain of giving birth without having the glorious reward of holding the newborn in her arms. The warm feelings of motherhood are hanging on to the last minute as she fights to overcome the coldness of the situation. Much of this emotional contrast is illustrated through descriptions of temperature by comparing the ?icy cold? physical reality of the situation, with fire inside her to hang on to motherhood.

The passage opens as she describes herself lying on a cold table already pushing with all of her strength. She knows the six month old child is no longer alive but she continues to push as instructed. It occurs to her that she is not pushing with all of her strength. It becomes evident that part of her is not willing to go through with the birth. She struggles with the finality of the circumstances. Anais is torn between the critical physical need to push the child out and the emotional attachment to hand on. Anais describes these feeling in the following paragraph:

?A part of me lay passive, did not want to push out anymore, not even this dead fragment of myself, out in the cold, outside of me. All in me which chose to keep, to lull, to embrace, to love, all in me which carried, preserved, and protected, all in me which imprisoned the whole world in its passionate tenderness, this part of me would not thrust out the child, even though it had died in me. Even though it threatened my life, I could not break out, separate, surrender, open and dilate and yield up a fragment of a life like a fragment of the past, this part of me rebelled against pushing out the child, or anyone, out in the cold, to be picked up by strange hands, to be buried in strange places, to be lost, lost, lost…(1624-5)?

The above quotation sets the stage and allows the reader to see into the emotions that surround the situation. She states that even though she is in great danger, she is still unwilling to give up and let go of the child. An attachment to the child had evolved and becomes a source of conflict for her.

The strong emotional feelings she is experiencing toward the child are clashing against the rather cold reality of her circumstances. Additionally, the cold and unfeeling personalities of the doctors and nurses around her are conflicting as well. For instance, the nurses begin to talk about heir own uncomfortable and unpleasant stories right in front of her. They discuss their own birthing stories like they can somehow relate to the anguish and torture Anais is experiencing. The doctor?s patience is running thin during the entire ordeal as he coldly paces in disgust. They are all forcing her to push with all of her might with no consideration or empothy for her feelings.

As the clock continues to tick and very little progress is made, the doctor becomes angry. The medical staff?s cold instructions to rid the child from her body become more insistent. At one point, Anais faints. She awakes from an unfeeling state of coldness as the sound of metal knives are sharpened in preparation. Next, the doctor goes one step further and gives her a shot to help induce the delivery. ?I felt the needle thrust…The ice and the blue that was all around came into my veins? (1625). This line describes how the cold reality of letting go and giving birth to a deceased child coursed through her as the inducing medication took affect. She further describes that she ?seeps in long icy threads…yet there is fire too, the nerves are twisted? (1626). This line is a perfect example of Anais? use of temperature to illustrate the fire to hang on to the emotions that are now intertwined with the ?ice? in her veins telling her to let go.

The coldness of nature and the physical demands on her body overwhelm her efforts to endure. Ultimately, as if she was giving in, she snaps at the nurses, ?let me alone? (1626). Reality sets in as her ?nerves begin to shiver? (1627). This shiver symbolizes that the warmth attached to motherhood has left her and she has subsided to the coldness of the task at hand. Shortly after, she gives birth to a stillborn baby girl.

Anais? ability to describe the feelings and emotions attached to giving birth to a stillborn child is remarkable. She describes the difficult struggle between her emotions and physical limitations. The extremely graphic nature of her passage gives it an extraordinary sense of realism. Additionally, the descriptions and use of temperature that are associated with the two opposing sides of the struggle allow the reader to really feel and sense the severe contrast of the circumstances.

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