The Futility Of High School Romance Essay, Research Paper

?And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you, or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust?(The Waste Lands, INTERNET). When T.S. Eliot wrote that line, he wasn?t thinking of high school, but he could have been. Adults believe high school to be one of the happiest time in a person?s life, that all the fears they had were meaningless, and blown to the wind. However, to those how still attend, high schools are deserts, pain and loneliness just over the next dune, with students constantly searching for an oasis amongst the sand. Too many teenagers turn to the opposite sex to elevate themselves above that sandstorm.

Wandering around any high school, you can see them, the couples. They are ?making out? against a locker, holding hands down the hall, or even screaming at each other across a crowded room. Quite a few of those ?couples? are together simply for political reasons. Young men and women come together because they want to look ?cool? in front of their friends. Often, they sacrifice their personal happiness to be ?normal?. Another reason they come together is sheer loneliness. Ignored at home, lost in a sea of bodies that have their own lives, teenagers turn to one another in the hopes of elevating themselves from their disparity. Unfortunately, they?re only placing themselves in a situation where further heartbreak is inevitable. Some people may say they are together because they want to be, that if two people feel a certain way towards one another, they should act on that impulse and be together. However, as young adults, one cannot always tell what is real, or how they feel. It is far better to remain friends with that person, rather than open yourself totally to each other. That way, you can still be friends and enjoy one another?s company without getting hurt, and fighting.

Far too often, these young couples?knowing so little about each other, and less about themselves?get caught up in sexual activity. Peer pressure is the leading reason for such activities. ?52% of respondents referred to “sex” and/or “boys” as major issues. No one racial or ethnic group provided this answer dramatically more than any other. Of all age groups, only 11-year-olds did not mention “pressure to have sex” as an issue at all.? (REPORT EXAMINES GIRLS’ STRUGGLES WITH SEXUALITY, PEER PRESSURE, AND BODY IMAGE, INTERNET). Even young men and woman outside of a relationship are pressured by their so-called friends to constantly ?score?. Sexual intercourse is common-place in many high school relationships. Many people believe that if it feels good, do it?that if you feel your ready, you must be. That, in theory, is true. The attitude of the world seems to be, do what you want, you?re the one that matters. However, with such thoughts, no one seems to have time to remember that to be with someone, you give part of yourself away. Eventually, nothing will remain to give to the one that you love enough to spend the rest of your life with.

The love I seek is of the mutual, deepest kind; and for me, sex will be an expression of that. I know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I can’t attain that love through a sexual dating relationship. I can only attain it by cultivating a best friendship over very adequate time until we both know that we’re ready and able to commit our whole hearts and our whole futures to each other. (Though I’m a Nontheistic Woman, I Plan to Wait Until Marriage to have Sex, INTERNET)

On the wedding night, countless men and woman have wished they had something to give their love that no one else had. Unfortunately, it?s too late.

This sexual activity between youths leads to other problems besides those of emotional value. Some such problems include STD?S, HIV & AIDS, and teen pregnancy. Many high school relationships end up ruining lives. Weighty decisions and life-altering developments are handed over to people who often cannot deal with a simple change in routine?all because of one night of fun. Babies are brought into a world that should rejoice at their coming; instead, they become a burden to those who bore it, or have to grow up wondering what it was about them that made their real parents give them up.

With few exceptions, high school ?loves? are doomed to fail. People invest time, money and their hearts only to get hurt again and again. Some youths even devote all of themselves to each other, closing out friends and family. These circumstances open the door to even greater heartbreak, as it leaves no one else to fall back on in time of need. People often believe that high school relationships are necessary to teach lessons valuable for life ahead. These ?lessons? often lead to scars that do not heal. A myriad of young people often place these relationships on pedestals so high, that when they fall, it?s devastating. Therapy and counseling are turned to at an age where life shouldn?t be so hard.

There are solutions to this heartbreak. The most obvious (and often hardest) is abstinence. There is of course, total and complete abstinence from high school dating. It is possible to complete your education without being involved so deeply and completely with another person. Maintaining close friendships with people who boost up your self esteem is better than being in a put-up and tear down relationship. There is also sexual abstinence. It is a very real possibility to have a boyfriend/girlfriend without committing the various sexual acts that come hand-in-hand in today?s world of fast-paced sexual familiarity. One can save themselves for a time when they are prepared for a real commitment, when they are older and sure of what lies ahead of them.

If it is felt impossible to contain oneself in either dating or exploring new-found sexuality, restraint is the next step. Keeping the dating and/or sexual conduct to a minimum allows less opportunity for pain. Life is to be enjoyed, experiences to be relished, pain to be forgotten. By limiting pains access to your heart, you leave the way open for love and respect in a future, maturer relationship.

Above all, teenagers have a responsibility to themselves. They give up time, love and happiness for heartbreak, recrimination and pain. A young person in a serious relationship leave a piece of themselves in every person they date, leaving less of their soul for themselves and the one intended for them.

Work CitedAAUW Education Foundation. ?REPORT EXAMINES GIRLS’ STRUGGLES WITH SEXUALITY, PEER PRESSURE, AND BODY IMAGE.? Online. Internet. 25 September, 2001. Available: http://www.siecus.org/pubs/shop/volume4/shpv40050.htmlEliot, T.S. ?The Waste Lands.? Online. Internet. 24 September 2001. Available: http://www.deathclock.com/thunder/framer.cfm?frame=http://www.bartleby.com/201/1.htmlMary. ?Though I’m a Nontheistic Woman, I Plan to Wait Until Marriage to have Sex.? Online. Internet. 29 September, 2001. Available: http://www.maryromantic.com/waiting.htm