Dkf ;djfk Essay, Research Paper

Is Spanking a Correct Tool for Punishment of Children?

New or expecting parents have a lot to think about. For instance, what day care is their

child going to attend, which of the 30 doctors offices that they visited are they going to pick,

which babysitter, which crib will be the safest and most comfortable, and whether or not they

should get a new alarm system placed in their home. The one thing that is constantly debated is

whether or not parents should spank their children. Every parent either has a firm view or is still

searching for what is best for the child. Rarely does anyone have an apathetic view on this

subject. The truth is that spanking children is necessary to communicate to them that they have

done something wrong.

At a day care in Irmo, South Carolina, the employees cannot spank the children. There is a

girl there that works mostly with children that are about two years old. Some of them can speak a

few words, but others can barely speak anything besides “no.” The other day this employee was

playing outside with them. They have a big sandbox that the kids love to play in. Three boys

named T.J., Brandon, and Kevin were playing together. T.J. and Brandon began throwing sand all

over each other and Kevin. They had sand everywhere: in their hair, in their diapers, in their shirts,

in their shoes and socks. No one likes to be the one who gets the sand thrown on them. So, Kevin

was crying while T.J. and Brandon continued fighting. The employee yelled for them to stop and if

they didn’t that she was going to put them into time out. The only reaction she got was that they

paused and then gave her a confused stare. Then, even as she was staring back at them, they just

went back to throwing sand everywhere. So she yelled at them again and the same thing happened.

So she put them in “time out” and they had no idea why they were being punished. These are not

bad kids and it never hurt anyone to get a little sand on them. But when they are throwing it

everywhere and an innocent person is getting sand in his eyes, then it is time to stop. After they

had been in time out for a while the employee went to them and asked if they were going to do it

again and made them apologize to Kevin. It only took them a few minutes to begin doing the same

thing all over again.

Brandon and T.J. are too young to understand what she was trying to communicate to

them through yelling and “time out” periods. If she had been able to lightly but firmly tap them on

their hand or bottom while they were holding the shovel and about to throw the sand they would

have been able to understand that there are harsh(to them at least) punishments for doing a bad

thing. It is not their fault that they did not understand me; they are just too young to reason with

and tell them why something is wrong. Children understand physical pain but they do not

understand reason. From the example above we can prove that children do not understand reason.

In a home there was a wood stove that heated the whole house. One day cousin Shane came over.

Shane was told not to touch the stove because it was very hot. He nodded his head in

understanding. An hour later Shane came running to his mother screaming! He had burned his

whole hand on the stove. Even though someone had sat him down and explained to him not to

touch the stove or it would hurt him, he still did not understand. Shane never again even went near

the stove. This is why reason does not work and connecting slight physical pain with doing wrong

is something that a young child can grasp.

People will argue that spanking is just a way for the parents to vent their anger while

“abusing” the child. This is false if the parent is correcting the child properly. There is a big

difference between abuse and correction. The proper way to go about spanking children is; as soon

as the parent finds out what the child has done, they should make sure that the child knows what

he or she has done wrong then send them to their room. This is to give both the child some time

to think about what they have done and the parent some time to cool down. Then when the parent

is calm they should call the child down and once again explain what they did wrong and they spank

the child lightly but firmly. After the duty is done the parent should let the child know how much

they love him or her. This will prevent the child from thinking the parent hates them and will never

forgive them. Also waiting until the parent is calm will guarantee that they are not acting out of

anger.

There are unfortunately many people that do abuse their children and child abuse is not a

subject that should be taken lightly. But there are times when children do need to be physically

shown that they have done something wrong. Before spanking a child there are some things that

parents must think about: whether or not the only answer is to spank( spanking should be a last

resort), they need to make sure that the child knows why he or she is being spanked, and they

parent MUST be calm! Spanking children out of anger is abuse. But spanking children is necessary

to communicate to them that they have done something wrong.