Antigone Essay, Research Paper

Fate Of A Life

Suicide is still an action that takes many lives every year. Alternatives are open for people with this mental disorder when they contemplate this action. The question is how affective are these alternatives. My life has been revolving around suicide for almost five years. Here is my story, one that shows little to no hope on the issue.

It s truly a feeling that nobody will ever feel or even begin to know how to describe. I would rather be shot in the leg then go through this mental trauma. The feelings of loneliness and abandonment rise from the once tombs and begin to destroy my brain ever so slowly. My will for survival narrows to nothing, and my love for others is more then the love for myself. This is what it is like to be depressed and suicidal .

Suicide is not wrong. You may say otherwise but until you are I and understand my thoughts and feelings, you have no right to tell me I am wrong. My current dilemma is one demonstrated by the extreme love for another. The attraction for this young woman is greater then any previous attractions. I think of her more than all the time. Time is no instance when I m thinking of her because it seems eternal. A part of me becomes blissful when I mentally draw her face and remember how high-spirited I am around that indescribable face. Then there is the evil side, the side that eats at me mentally and takes away my will and strength for survival. The mental picture of her exquisiteness is still there but thoughts of cheating, abandonment, and change among others always linger. It is these thoughts that act like a wild fire that has progressed so far the only time you are able to control it is when it has fulfilled its undertaking of destruction. These thoughts to me are no longer thoughts; they have become an evil force placed upon me with no means of eliminating or managing its presence. Suicide lingers in the back like a hunter camouflaged into the forestry waiting for its prey.

Instead of telling me that medication, therapy, and brief hospitalizations will help me why don t you show me. So far I have not been proven to believe you. I truly believe that this evil force is greater and smarter then any of these treatments and that is why they are not working. I have been on various arrangements and doses of medications yet none have ever changed me enough to discontinue these unhealthy actions. Hospitalizations have become a joke where it seems like the health industry would rather make money then truly help someone in need. As kind as my therapists have been and enlightening their ideas and analysis, when I walk out from their office it is like nothing ever took place and those sessions were meaningless.

Suicide is a solution to kill off this evil force, which is slowly taking over my life and making it miserable. To you and many others, suicide is an unacceptable way of relieving such pain. My one sole response to that statement is at least it is a solution with a high expectation to be successful.

This force is one rooted by the behaviors of others upon myself. For example, when I learned that I was lied and cheated upon by another, the evil force comes to life. The chosen behavior of the partner to lie and deceive caused this force to incarnate once again and thus result in the painful mental processes associated with it.

Many times however in the past and present, the link continues to include another phase where the painful mental processes when entirely out of control become behaviors. These behaviors can range from anger (shouting) to suicidal actions and anything in between. This is a description of a relationship, mine however just have unpleasant outcomes instead of jovial ones. The problem faced with my relationships is I am missing the defense process where I tend not to evaluate the situation at hand and make a healthy decision. For example, when cheated on or treated like nil my defense does not halt my cycle of processes and behaviors and directly come to the conclusion of releasing the partner and discontinuing the relationship. It doesn t seem sensible in my head to defend myself in that way thus falling short of harming myself. Instead, this defense shuts down and everything falls on my shoulders and weighs me down to a high degree of empowerment. Without this defense, the evil power is not contained.

Something that makes me more upset then anything in this world is the way alcohol is treated among teenagers. I am placed in the hospital when suicide comes alive, but these teenagers can drink their lives away and looked upon as just a normal but unintelligent decision. It s more then a mere dim-witted choice; it s a form of suicide. Before each guzzle of the famous I m cool now beverage, that person knows what consequences may arise. Self-reflecting suicide hurts solely the individual obliging the act. Family members and friends suffer true pain. However, that is short-term emotional pain that is easily coped with. Drinking suicide doesn t necessarily have to deal with someone killing himself or herself willingly. Rape, fights, cheating, among other terrible acts associated with drinking is in my mind suicide. You are giving up everything you are and destroying your mind so that your actions are uncontrollable.

I was drunk . The words I could use to tell you how boisterous I become when I hear those three words are beyond inappropriate. Think about this in another form of a cycle. The teenager drinks willingly knowing what consequences may derive from the beverage. Poor actions occur which if they don t ruin their life in some way, I m sure that at least one person will be greatly affected. When your state of clear-headedness returns you blame everything on a liquid. The one problem is you were the one placing that liquid into your body and contaminating your mental processes. The liquid was only doing what it has been intended to do, alter your chemicals and change your behaviors. It was your choice to take it, and your actions that hurt others. Suicide just happened whether you are willing to admit to it or not. You willingly took a drug that can kill and hurt yourself and others.

Suicide is an act of defiance and a release of pain. People don t understand the issue because they are not living it. It s just like me not knowing what it is like to go through life feeling good about myself and being able to control my anger and other emotions which result is suicide. Unfortunately it is not something that is easily teachable or learnable for that matter.

My favorite quote, which describes love, is from a Nike Ad:

“Life isn’t about keeping score.

It’s not about how many people call you and it’s not about who you’ve dated, are dating, or haven’t dated at all.

It isn’t about who you’ve kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you.

It’s not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school.

In fact, it’s not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not.

Life isn’t about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are.

Life just isn’t about that.

But life is about who you love and who you hurt.

It’s about how you feel about yourself.

It’s about trust, happiness, and compassion.

It’s about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love.

Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence.

It’s about what you say and what you mean.

It’s about seeing people for who they are and not what they have.

Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else’s in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise.

These choices are what life’s about.”

The line which strikes me though most in describing love is, Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else’s in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. Love isn t just a term you say to somebody. It is a gesture, which describes how you act towards somebody and what you would do for him or her. To me when you put somebody else in front of yourself, that is love. True love occurs solely when an individual places it far from himself or herself in order to touch another. Love does exist, and it is a feeling. If you don t love yourself then how can you love others is a common thought. I say just the opposite.