Lost Boy Essay, Research Paper

Book Report – ?The Lost Boy? by: Dave Peltzer

Dave Peltzer the author of ?The Lost Boy? tells his story from the time he left his

abusive mother and alcoholic father, through his experiences in five foster homes and

juvenile detention, and how he eventually made it into the Air Force. He was a defiant,

rebellious boy who, despite his background and personality, managed to endear himself

to many guardians, social workers, and teachers. Pelzer writes in an honest, sometimes

rambling, style; he is never bitter, and his story will find many sympathetic readers. The

main purpose for Dave to write this book is to show at what lengths children and

adolescents have gone to over come the unmentionable hardships of and abusive family.

The three most valuable things I have learned from this book are very hard to

choose. The book was full of many things to help me in my everyday life. Ranging from

how to deal with kids who have be through abusive situations to how kids of abuse act in

general. The first one has to be, Dave was very tactful in how he handled his thoughts and

feelings. Many children his age are running around chasing girls and hanging with the

guys. Not him he was studying hard and trying to be better than his parents were. He

would always squander away what he had, so no one could take what was rightfully his

and that includes his life. The second thing that was useful was how Dave was never

angry with his situation he would just look at it as another challenge. Many times through

out the book Dave would have to change foster homes after being fairly settled in the

way of living there. Most teens his age can?t handle a great deal of change but Dave

would just go with the flow and never bat an eye lash. The third most valuable thing has

to be his willingness to help. I would think that since no one would help him he would

not help anyone else. On the contrary, Dave was always helping with chores, making

dinner, and doing little extra things he didn?t have to do. I later found out through reading

the book that Dave?s willingness to help stems from his need to feel loved and wanted.

I can honestly say that I could never have gone through the painstaking trials and

tribulations Dave went though while he was in his teen yes. It take a special person to do

that and Dave is that special person.

PARENTING TECHNIQUES

Dave?s mother was a very troubled woman who for some unknown reason liked to

target Dave and blame him for any and all bad things that happened. His mother was and

Authoritative and neglectful at the same time. Some may say how can one parent be on

both extremes of things but there are a few instance with in the book which shows both.

For example Dave?s mother would make him do all the chores and never was aloud to

play. For some reason even if Dave finished what he was told to do in the time he was

told to do it he would not be fed or worse he would be part of his mother ?Games and

Test?. His mothers ?Games and Tests? range from putting him in freezing cold water for

5 hours at a time to making him sit on the garage steps with his hands under his bottom

head strait a head for up to 36 hours at a time no food, bathroom, shower or other needs to

live. Dave was saved from this horror when he was 15 but he was in foster care and the

parenting techniques ranged from authoritarian to indulgent, but anything was better than

what he had endured at his mothers house.

DELINQUENCY

Dave in his teen years was for the most part a very well behaved boy. He was

working hard in school and kept to himself for the most part. Although Dave did have a

small problem he like to take things with out asking or stealing. Dave?s stealing habits

stem from his basic survival needs that he instinctively put up when his mother would

make him go with out food, water, and basic sanitation. Dave at times would also lash

out at his foster families so that they would not get to close to him. In some cases when

Dave would lash out he would be put into another foster home and have to readjust to

things again. Dave usually liked to lash out he thought he didn?t need anyone just himself.

He could handle himself since he could handle his mother ?Games and Tests?. Dave?s

delinquent actions are fairly normal of abused and neglected teens. Dave was also just

being a normal teen trying find himself in a world that had not found him for almost 12

years.

DEPRESSION

Dave did have a great deal of depression in his life. He would think why does my

mother treat me like I am a piece of *censored*? Dave?s depression stemmed from he long ours

of being with himself. He had many hours, day, months, and years to think about what he

had done. His mother made him out to be an evil unwanted child who was worthless.

Dave thought the main reason his mother didn?t like him and his father wouldn?t talk to

him any more that he had failed as a son. Not till Dave was in foster care and his foster

parents brought him to a therapist did Dave realize what had happened to him was to his

fault and Dave was a normal boy. His mother was suffering from alcoholism and manic

depression and her outlasted were targeted at him cause he was his fathers pride and joy.

His father ignored him to please his wife (Dave?s mother). His father also started drinking

to drowned his sorrows.

SUICIDE

You would think that since Dave was so brutally abused and his own mother

stabbed him almost to death with out even drinking him to the hospital he would have

wanted even once to kill himself. I know that if anyone did anything like Dave?s mother

did to me and I had to change homes 7 different times and had kids picking on me cause I

smelled or I didn?t have a real mom or dad I would want to kill myself. Not Dave, he only

worked harder to live and please anyone including his mother so that in hopes she would

stop this unlawful actions against him. Not once did Dave even want to end his life

instead of thinking negatively he would say ?When I get older and out of here, I will be a

better man? I will be the man my father once was. Dave during his time at his mothers

house always held his dad on a pedestal. No mater what happened Dave?s dad was

Superman to him. Dave would think of flying away with his dad to a better place where

he would be a person not just a ?Child called ?It? (Peltzers first book). Dave also vowed

that if her were to kill himself that he would only be surrendering to him mothers wishes

and even though he tired to please his mother that is the one thing he would not let her

have was his well deserved life.

ANOREXIA-BULIMIA NERVOSA

The way Dave?s mother treated him is shocking. There was one way that Dave?s

mother had complete control over him and that was what he could and couldn?t eat. Most

of the time Dave was not permitted to eat. When Dave went to school he would steal

other kids lunches so that he could eat food that was not spoiled. Dave did get in trouble

for this sever times. After the third time Dave?s mother made him run home faster than all

the other children and vomit in to the toilet to see if he had stolen. Dave?s mother would

some make him eat rotten pork and chicken one every 3 weeks that is the only food he

would get and if Dave purged he would have another ?Game and Test? to do for his

mother. Dave had become so good at hiding what he had ate that he would vomit before

he left school so that he could at least enjoy his home or at least what home he had. Dave

at times would try to steal food that his brothers didn?t eat but if he was caught he would

have to go in the tub of ice water or deal with the pneumonia and bleach combination in

the bathroom with no ventilation. When Dave made is way out of his mother house into

foster care. Dave would try to salvage food so that if by chance the foster family would

not let him eat he would be able to have food. If Dave was caught with the food he had

taken and his foster family went to talk to him he would go to the bathroom and vomit so

that he would please them.

I feel Dave Peltzer has been through an unimaginable childhood and adolescent

life. I think the book is a heart felt story of a boys struggle for acceptance and aiming to

please those around him. I feel if anyone can over come what Dave has over come that

what he tells is accurate in the most scary way possible. Scary in a sense that anyone

could handle such hard ships and still be alive to tell about it. Dave was stabbed,

poisoned, neglected, beaten, uprooted from him home at age 15, bounced from foster

home to foster home without having a real place to call home.

I think that this book addressed the real things that happen to a child of abuse. For

there initial home life to the bounce from foster care home to home. The real issue in the

book that child abuse is everywhere in every degree. Some are hidden ways such as

verbal and some are so extreme that a child has no where to turn but to the abuse itself.

This book more than anyone could imagine my anticipation?s and expectations

were met 120%. The book was very descriptive and helpful on how to deal with teens in

crisis.

I would recommend this book and Dave Peltzer?s other two books. The main reason is

that the book describes Dave’s journey to find acceptance and a place to call home really touched

my soul. The tears I cry for all the kids out there that need a voice to be heard. Mrs. Gold is God

send She was Dave?s social worker she took the time to understand Dave?s story and be his voice

for him. We need more people in the Human Services field like the one’s who have helped Dave

in his journey. This book is a good book for people who work in any type of Human Service job

such as a YMCA or a foster family just to show at what lengths kids will go to be safe and saved.

“lost boy” Dave Peltzer 1996