Story Of A Man In Jail Essay, Research Paper

The only light in cell came from a light fixture place in the hall. Bolted on to a slimy dirt covered wall. The nauseating stench of fresh death and decay filled his lungs, making him sick to death some days.

In the cell next to his, a man had hours earlier committed suicide. Most of the blood had drained from his body through a large gash across his left wrist and formed a pool in which the corps rested. His skin was pale and clammy. The eyes had sunken deep into their sockets. At his side, a razor blade floated around peacefully, having fulfilled its purpose. Chris could hear the rats swarming; gnawing on the dead mans flesh, chomping away on the bones, playing amongst his blood.

There was a time when these sounds would have drove Chris insane, but he had long since forgot how to care, and learned how to mentally block these gruesome noises out. He had to fight for every second of sanity that he had, and the champ inside of him had grown tired-tired of waiting, tired of wishing and tired of holding on to a hope he could not see. All he could think about was that he did not want to end up like the others. This was hell. No! Hell would be never being able to die.

If he didn’t kill himself, they soon would. Chris had witnessed how the monsters who where in control treated inmates like him. In here, you have no control of your own life. They control every breathing second that your alive till you die. They have the power to kill you, but they also have the power to mentally destroy you, and they will. They brake your mentality down by the extreme torture, that they find amusing. They take your greatest fears and exploit them. Those who are afraid of the dark are locked up in the smallest dampest, and darkest cell for months on end. Those afraid of water were left in a room filled so high with water; it would be all you could do to breath. There are no words for what they did to those who were afraid of fire.

When his time came, Chris would not resist. The darkness had eaten away at his mind to an extent that he had no fear of death. In fact he longed for it. He realized that these WERE the thoughts of a mad man, and he was not truly mad, there was simply nothing else to do. Death would mean the nightmare would at last be over and he could be at peace.

“Get up Chris. There’s someone here to see you.”

The warden s emotionless tone pushed Chris from his thoughts and back into the misery of his reality. He sat up and glared at the two men standing in front of him. The door was slammed shut Chris and his attorney were left alone in the cell.

“You have five minuets!”

The visitor was Chris s attorney. He was wearing a black suit and carrying a briefcase at his side. “Good, you’re still alive. Thank god for that at least.”

“Yeah. Thank god I’m still alive.” He reached up and yanked on the light chain. There was a flicker of blue light, then the bulb brightened and an odd fuzzy glow appeared. Chris squinted as his eyes slowly adjusted to the light.

“Chris you look like shit! Are you okay?”

Chris sat up and leaned against the wall. “Even if I was, would it matter? I might as well be dying. Sometimes I feel like I might. How long have I been down here anyway?”

“Eleven months.”

Chris bowed his head. Where has the time gone, he thought. He looked up at the man with helpless disgust. “Why are you here?”

The man sat next to Chris. “I’ve never lied to you and I don’t plan to start now. Chris, we’ve lost. The evidence against you has convinced the jury of your guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.”

“You fucking telling me that you cant do I damn thing!”

“I am sorry Chris there is nothing I can do for you my hands are tied. We lost its over.

To you it s just a game that was well fought but in the end we came up short. Its different for me its my fucking life. I am going to die now and there s not a damn thing I or you or even god can do about it.

“I know that too. You are forgetting something here Chris; I’m on your side. But there’s nothing I can do.”

Chris stood and began pacing. The floor was sticky and produced a repetitious squashing sound. He stopped and faced the man. “Just answer one question, can you save my life?”

The man tried not to look into the desperate eyes of his client and former best friend. “I wouldn’t put any money on it.”

“You son-of-a-bitch”

“Times up!”

Chris glanced at the warden. “Just do me one favor. ?

The man stood and put a hand on Chris s shoulder, which was abruptly jerked off. “Anything.”

“If I have to die, might as well get it over with. Could you possible get my execution date moved up? I don t want to suffer anymore.”

“I will try Chris, but it will be along shot.”

The man walked out and the door rattled shut. The silence forced Chris to sit down onto the hard bed. Chris now had nothing to do but reminisce about old times. When Chris thought about it he new he deserved to die. He was born into the lifestyle he lived though. There was no way to get out, so was it really his fault, he kept asking himself.

Later that night.

“Chris! Chris are you there?” Chris snapped up and stared into the darkness. The darkness stared back with equal blankness, and silence. But suddenly there was movement against the wall to Chris s left. Barely visible, but an old door came out of nowhere. It became more and more visible with time. A man stepped out of the door. This man looked very familiar to Chris almost to familiar. He was bald and dressed in a red robe. He stepped closer to Chris and smiled. Terrified, Chris jolted to his feet, but the sudden movement weakened his tired body and he fell hard against the bed. Resting on his knees he looked at the stranger with a mixture of fear and utter confusion. The man took his hand and helped him up.

“It is you! Good! What has happened to you? That’s a dumb question isn’t it? You do not know how difficult it had been to reach you. But you are still alive and that means I am not too late!” Chris kept his eyes on the man and lifted the hair from his eyes.

“Smokey is that you

Yes! Its me

How is that possible your dead. I saw them bastards shoot you. Smokey after I found out who shot you I went and fucked up they re whole crew, for real man I made sure they got what they deserved. That s how a landed my ass in this hellhole.

“I know you did, and I respect you for that. I love you like a brother and I always will. You have lived a life of sin, there s nothing you can do to change that now. I won t lie to you; you will die in that gas chamber. Nothing I or anyone else can do about it now. But God has sent me to tell you that there is something you can do to make everything right. In short meaning one great after life, if you grant him this one favor.

What are you speaking about Smokey? What can I do in lockdown? What kind of plan could god possible have for me? Are you here to remind me that they’re going to kill me soon? Thanks a lot! Like I’m not already thinking about it. Am I supposed to make peace with myself or something? Is that what this is? Well you can forget it! I’m going to die with my pride in tact! That’s all I have.”

“You are wrong. You have something much more valuable. You have a soul. The soul is eternal Chris. I can never die, but it is usually not up to us where we go. Not usually. What if I offered you an alternative?”

Chris let his doubt show. “An alternative to what? Death? Don’t you know how things work down here? Look around! We pray for death! That’s all there is to do!”

“And you are content with that? You are willing to just die and hope you wake up in a safe place. Hope is that and nothing more Chris. Personally, I would want something a little stronger than that. Wouldn’t you?”

I don t know Smokey, I just don t know anymore.

There is a young man named Junior who is headed in the exact same direction we were at his age. If he doesn t stop, gang banging he will be dead before he reaches 19. God has great plans for Junior and hopes that you can save him from his ways, so that one day he can full fill the right destiny that god wants for him. That s all I have to say. Peace out, and I hope you can join us up here soon, cause I miss you man.

Chris slammed his fist against the hard wall of the bed. “How I am I suppose to help this kid out I don t even have an address or anything Just then Chris looked up and a letter fell from the sky.

Letter One

J.U.N.I.O.R

To who ever really give a damn about what happens to us out here.

I got no origin,

every day brings more horror in, I died once three days later got born again, the blood just keeps pouring in,

I ve seen many boy s murdered in this battle zone,

Sometimes I just wish I had a clone Cause I wake up every morning just wanting to stay asleep

Life of a teen, the metal fatigue is too deep,

I don t have to many choices so I cant always make the right choice

concentrating on my mic hoist, is the only thing keeping me from falling in to the moist, but none of my life I can happily rejoice

I am not happy about my life so far, but so far, me being where I want to be in the future is just nonexistent

Everybody who is born in this cosmic slop wants to be a star

Driving them bigged rimmed cars, but me my future is blacked out like tar

What really bothers me is that I always have anxiety to change the shit in the world Like I was it’s tissue

I focus to much about the negative aspects of life, when I my self haven t lived a good life,

Sometimes I feel so down about where we are as humans I just cry for no reason despite

A lot of that doesn’t obtain to me, It’s like Feel guilty

That I lived a life of sin, I do all I can to help but sometimes I fail,

When other people just shake it off, I feel I just added to the earths hell

I know I am not the only one who feels this way,

But I’m the only one who will go out and make people understand what I say

The drummer of the earths band died today, we got no beat to follow,

I just get so frustrated on how motherfuckers hearts are so shallow

I wish everybody had a strong heart, but heart attacks are a genetic trait

Some people are born in a world where all they know is hate,

Even though hate doesn t register in my mind I can only dislike,

Hate has to much of a meaning, it’s a word that blinds site

I feel abused, the reality of the world has left me with a bruise

When we are young we are all happy then how come when we grow up we feel we have everything to lose

The only way I can cope with my problems is to express them in the booth,

Or else it just digs into me like cavity rotting out a tooth I feel lost, Someone help me find my way

I want the greener pastures of bright sunny day

But it’s being blocked my the infestation of Realities Plague

Someone get me out the shade, out the shade I feel confused, someone tell me what to do

Even though people hide it a ton of people feel the way I do

same conflicts, what s with all these bombs lit

Bloods and Kripts arguing over a strip of land to you god it may seem like some dumb shit

All this bloodshed but we must really strongly believe in our cause

Cause any one that fights tanks with rocks, must really not like what s going on

This is one of those things which makes life hard and I wonder

Shit like this only fucks with my mind because it is too hard to ponder

I just don’t get it, my confusion runs at high levels

Why would people want to stay in a burning hot kettle

When they have the opportunity to get out,

Sometimes I feel so low I just fucking shout

Why do I get bothered when half of kids today cannot read or count

I means it’s not like it’s my business why concern my self with these probs

But the same feelings make me feel the way I do against the Politicians

OR racists, blacks whites, murderers and rapists

Why do you god put this shit on earth only designed to phase us

Damn I wished the Pandora s box would of remain closed

Because drug dealing and killing is the only thing my people know

And it blows, this is just hard for a teen to associate with

Because it just occurred to me, that humans are all under surgery

TV, Books, internet is all designed to fix are brains to other beliefs

But if you really look hard you can really see what s beneath

The earth is the gums we are just the rotting teeth

Someone needs to add fluoride to us, or we will all be consumed by the Plagues beef And I ask you why? But I get no reply imagine that

Reading Juniors letter really brought back old memories for Chris. He could relate to what Junior was saying, but didn t know what to say to help him. Chris thought to himself and decided to sit down and write a letter in response to Junior s. Maybe Chris could teach Junior threw his mistakes.

Letter Two

Chris J.

Life, take it for what you will,

I never give a second thought,

life is what you make it,

clechay but true,

no faking it,

some stumble thru life without a clue,

appreciate your time here,

it means allot,

life, love, discovery, and fear,

all a part of the plot,

life is what you make it,

the choice is up to you,

love it or change it,

but don’t waste your chances or your fucked like me.

Junior you got to change your ways

I know when your in a daze and cant see past the haze

It might seem easy just to pick up and blaze

But that s not the way to get threw life s maze

Letter 3

J.U.N.I.O.R.

Examine the ways of the world and the struggle of man

were all born to die… its not in our hands

still life s meaning lost in a glance

perfect simplicity lost in a chance

wandering aimlessly no guidance no solace on this earth

losing a never ending battle since the day of my birth… Prisoner to my own mentality

Always strayed from the perfection in society’s conformity

the world looking down on my struggle for individuality

standing in solitude staring out at everyone so fulfilled… while I am scorned n empty

countless tears dripped from my tormented soul to fill this hollowness within me

“I love u” whispered in vein by the people who promised me eternity

my family….

daddy… getting high feeling like he a king on top of the world when he couldn t even be there for his own ill boy

and mommy….. My worst enemy

mental abuse was worse than any bruise, scar, or amount of blood with which she branded me

a raging never ending sea

being flooded by these memories

Father above is happiness really a possibility?

Screaming in the shadows…. Swallowed whole by my minds own agony

full filled in the horror of reality

nothing makes sense… hiding from my sanity

only peace of my mind will be the brightness of my fatality Outkasted/

manic depressive tendencies sadden me/

picking up them symptoms that I always hated bout daddy/

an gladly abandoned by “the woman he married”/

who left me growing up with thoughts of laying within my tomb/

was it that bond we lost when they removed me from your womb?

No longer sheltered from the cold an unforgiving world/

was “I love you” jus a curse spoken by venomous henchmen of the seven wicked intentions/

Always trying to keep me close but chose not to repent/

I wad pinning them infatuating, steady pushing my frustrations/

no wonder I stay blazing, in a daze forever bent/

avoiding those hoes that tried to cloud my consciousness with subliminal messages sent/

so God well your playing hide an seek, I selling dimes and peeking wit virgin eyes bloody/

wit a muddy soul stained by sins committed an nevertheless misguided by my so called friends who pretend to be there/

but beware the darkness an the tall tales it tells on lonely nights I blaze L’s/

still it seems like heaven fades while hell stays/

in a daze I fell, well I am looking for peace or at least a moment of silence for my boys that are deceased/

but it never comes/

So many nights and days I cried, 666 ways to die/

they lie at my feet, calling me name/

a mind full of demons got me laying in my casket screaming/

“my eyes are closed but I am not dreaming”/

inspiring my insanity catching nightmares not knowing if I even slept/

yet I crept thru the valley of death/

wondering if you Lord abandoned me/

and while its those who want to fade me/

murdering my mind state daily and the cry s within my eyes/

it ain t no surprise that the wicked ones conspire to decease us/

looking for honesty as I fall to my knees an plead to bloody Jesus…

Letter four

Chris J.

You deserve praising, because the new generation of young ones you ll be doing the raising/ bring them into the frame-of-mind, like my game-out of-line//

no timeouts left your running out of time, remember knowledge isn t blind//

in the heat of the moment, don t let the future be stolen//

look into the magnifying glass of the past to see what the future is holding//

bangs and pops of human disaster, watch hearts pump faster//

strings of blood break you bastard, the Universe holds one master//

link the chains, ink your brains, and think down memory lane//

make a non-existence sink drain, smell the stink but who s to blame//

pick out my vessels with utensils, leaks like mesh-pills//

You contain pure flesh-skills, you soon will hold so much respect no one test your will race race race against minuets and hours, fight the legal powers//

run shit like water does showers, like bully s do cowards//

feet move quicker then light of speed, sparks start your feet//

don t be quick to defeat, but feel the need to succeed Cause your all they got left, so let them in time feed from you

Letter 5

J.U.N.I.O.R.

all I want to do is rock but I aint got enough to pay for a mic stand/man versus man because of a discrepancy in skin tone/laying bullets in our brothers and another mother moans/now the fallen victims homeboy is picking up the telephone/he s calling Darnell, Terell, J.T., and Tyrone/”ya man we got to get this bitch s skull blown”/its pure insanity a family could give a fuck till the bullet hits their home/all alone GOD, why is earth prone for natural disasters/born to equality and freedom yet you supposed to be my master?/we supposed to love you and when we try to comprehend we just are thinking faster/am I just a puppet living attached to strings of elastic mended by plaster?/this bastard is it all a dream? Am I part of some demented scheme? What s behind that curtain? / Life is going to end and that s the only thing certain/who am I even talking to and why is my head always hurting/ is the answer lurking or is there an answer at all, spring to fall, look in the night and see a thousand tiny balls/through the halls, the siren calls, and its pictures of the universe we study/ what s beyond no one knows or is the government a reluctant buddy? /when you think its clear its muddy like the water we drink/my headache is advancing why is it so hard to think? /is this a conspiracy to hide all the answers could we be on the brink! / This moment I couldn t help but blink, my eyes started to sink and I am losing conscious/ waking up I am thinking all that shit was nonsense/and I ve rhymed since, not giving it a second chance/maybe my arms are detached and everyone else is doing the dance…. But you say you have a plan for me/ Give me a sign do something a cant take it anymore, life I want to fake and break it.

Letter six

Chris

This will be the last letter you will receive from me Cause tomorrow will bring my last plea But I am glad the future you can now see Junior you were born with the lyrical skill To persuade man, and never lose your good will Mind state refusing to breakdown, grip life by it’s every second,

Still insist on scoring on the goal that you had set thru all obstacles,

Some may seem merely impossible, but not when approaching its logical,

A burden on your self, its unstoppable, sometimes your shoulders may get heavy,

Goals fall past arms length, or foots reach,

Stay there until something shifts an its reachable, more thesasable,

Or now just in time to crack the stone feet holding you down,

A world awaits your arrival, your goals will be shot, You will score,

Only looking back at past goals… to see what reason you have succeeded and what was taught

(7:00 a.m.)

The warden dropped the butt of a cigarette on the, lime green, stone floor and pulled back the cell door. Once again the sound of rusted metal permeated the halls. It echoed throughout the facility and through the ears of countless, lifeless, bodies.

“Let’s go Chris. The clock is ticking and it’s not on your side.”

At last, the time had come. With the warden close behind, Chris exited the hell that was his home for a year. The revolting stench of rotting deification clouded his senses like a fog across a swamp. He gagged on his own breath, and would have surely passed out had the warden not jabbed him in the back with some blunt object. At the end of the hall were three large steel doors with no handles. As they approached, the center door sank into the floor with a dull hum to reveal a cylindrical room.

“Take a breather!”

The warden gripped Chris s by the neck violently and kicked him into the room as the door moved back into position. Exercising the restraint of a god, Chris turned and snarled at the warden, but only for a moment. He was soon sealed in a space so tiny he could not fully extend his arms. He could hear someone laughing from above and he knew he was being watched. Chris closed his eyes and held his breath as a gas of some kind was pumped into the room.

Smokey then appeared. Job well done Chris, you have completed your task. Now take my hand and join in me in heaven, wait there is one more thing you have to do

What is it?

I can not tell you that, this one you have to figure out on your own.

Oh. Yeah. How could I forget? God I am sorry for the life that I have lived and I bag for your forgiveness.

Its about damn time. I have been waiting to reunite with you for a long time, now lets get going

Chris found his way out of hell on earth and made it to heaven. As for Junior he went on to be one of-the most famous and influentially musicians ever. He wrote positive lyrics that helped many people. Junior also graduated form law school and found out he could make more of a difference working the system then fighting it.

THE END.

334