Alien Essay, Research Paper

The other night I was takin the trash out. I heard ol’

Bessie, my cow carryin on like there was a snake in her

pin. I ran over and I said “Bessie, you best hush up!”

That’s when I seen it. It was a round hunk of metal flyin

through the sky. At first I thought it was the top of my

grain bin. That’s where I’ve been keepin my manure that I

use on m’gardern. I thought to myself “Oh Boy!

Someone’s done thrown a match in there. That’s when

this little green light shot right down from it and burn up

my okra patch. All of a sudden where that little green light

was, these creatures walked out. I ran in and got my

shotgun.

When I came back out, they said sumpthin like “Take

me to your leader.” I told `em “I don’t know much about

takin’ you to my leader but they’re fixin to meet their

maker if they didn’t get on out of here. Then they made

the ugliest fact at me and started talkin Japanese back and

forth at each other. All of a sudden I heard Bessie again,

but when I looked over, they zapped that poor ol’ cow up

to their hunk of metal spacecraft. I told `em they better

put her back or I was gonna call the UFO sightings hotline

on them like I did on all of their friends. I said ” I know

about all of your tests you run on them poor animals like

Bessie cause I’ve been watchin’ the X-Files on my big 10

inch black and white TV.” Then they started gibbering

back and forth again and I’ll be dang if they didn’t zap my

old John Deere up on that ship too. That’s when I got

really mad. I think they understood English too cause

when I told em what I thought of that spaceship, they

started shootin’ that laser gun at me. I said “Yowweee!!!”

Then I took off runnin’ up the hill.

I guess they must’ve realized how big my shotgun

was cause they got back in their ship and took off for the

sky. Everything’s been pretty normal since then, except

my wife, Bell, got meaner `cause I make her pull the plow

now. I know them danged ol’ aliens will be back cause I

didn’t have any diesel in my tractor and they’ll never be

able to go anywhere with it on empty. I’ll be ready for

`em.