Friends Essay, Research Paper

FRIENDSFriends. What exactly makes a friend? The very word conjures up many images and feelings, many good andsome bad. Is a friend merely someone to turn to when you have a problem or need advice? Or is a frienda person that shares the same interests and feelings? The question as to what makes a friend has beentackled by many philosophers for years on end. For my quest to the answer to this question, I willcompare and contrast my opinions with those of Aristotle, for I feel that he had a lot of good things tosay about the subject. Aristotle thought that true friendship, complete friendship is the friendship of good peoplesimilar in virtue. (Other Selves pg 33) So basically, what Aristotle thought was that for two people tobe true friends to each other, they had to both be virtuous people. Personally, I think that no personin the world can be truly virtuous, because I feel that to be truly virtuous is to be perfect, and thatno one in this world is perfect. And so, I feel that Aristotle is wrong on this point. Aristotlehimself said that these kinds of friendships are likely to be rare, since such people are few. (OtherSelves pg 34) If we were to go with it, though, it could be said that two people of relatively equalvirtue could be true friends to each other. I myself admit to not being truly virtuous, as I explainedearlier, yet I do have a few people whom I can call true friends, for their virtue is about on the samelevel as mine. So, I feel that what Aristotle said about true f!riendship is wrong, but I feel that what he thinks can be adapted so that more people can experience thejoy of having a true friendship. Aristotle also thought that friendships of utility or convenience would not last. What he saidwas, Those who exchange utility rather than pleasure…are friends to a lesser extent and less enduringfriends. (Other Selves pg 35) I agree with him on this point. If, unbeknownst to one member, the otheris using them, the friendship is still based on utility, no matter what the person who is being used

thinks. For it is possible for one member of a pair of friends to be used without his/her knowledge. For example, I had a friend whom I had thought was a true friend. We had endured many hardshipstogether, and yet, we stayed friends through it all. It turned out that he had been using me as afallback to any relationship that he had, and also as security to cling to in his life. As Aristotlesaid, Those who are friends for utility dissolve the friendship as soon as the advantage is removed. (Other Selves pg 35) The advantage in our friendship was removed when he !discovered that I would not continue to be that security in his life. And so, true to Aristotle s words,my value as a friend to him disappeared, and the friendship we had dissolved. And so, if people arefriends with others just because they are using them, or even in they are simply accustomed to being withthem, that friendship of utility will dissolve due to lack of a solid base to the relationship, later ifnot sooner. And so, in this theory on friendships, I agree with Aristotle. Finally, I feel that friendship is a very diverse thing that ranges in intensity fromacquaintances to true friends. There are less people that are willing to be a true friend than anacquaintance, for merely being an acquaintance requires less effort on the parts of the participants inthe relationship. I agree with Aristotle that a friendship must have people with the same interests andsimilar virtues, but I also feel that there should be more. Friends should be able to spend timetogether, and enjoy any time that they can use to grow closer, rather than the relationship becoming oneof simply utility. They could also use the time that they spend together to learn how to show compassiontowards the other. In conclusion, I feel that friendship, true friendship is a close relationshipbetween people working to maintain the relationship and making compromises when necessary for the greatergood of the friendship.