Barney Is Evil Essay, Research Paper

Barney is Evil

Face it, thousands of people know it: Just the thought of a purple tyrannosaurus being in control of millions, if not billions, of young minds should strike fear into the hearts of any sane person. Some people say it’s only a cheap show by a company, which I prefer not to mention. Yes, that’s true. But Barney himself wields enough power to alter the fate of the earth. Barney could easily convince the children of earth that people who don’t like him are evil, and should be destroyed. There are several reasons for my statement.

1st, Barney teaches that kids should be part of the crowd. Example of this: When Barney arrives, no children mess up, and they sing and dance in perfect unison. If ever a child is upset or jealous, Barney says something or sings a song and the child will hop up and join the group. Or, a child may be doing something else, something halfway educational, Barney will walk over and convince the kid to do what the group is doing instead of promoting his/her independent ideas.

2nd, Barney gives children bad ideas. Examples of this: Telling kids beehives are fun to play with, that it’s fine to play over a hot, boiling pot with no adult supervision, again save the Purple One, and that independent thought is bad.

3rd, Barney’s show has NO educational value. If an educational idea IS presented, it will be lost, drowned out by the cheery song. If you’ve ever compared an episode of “Sesame Street” to “Barney and Friends”, you’ll find one big difference. “Sesame Street” teaches an idea, over and over, where as Barney presents this only once and usually in a song. Also, the adults are there to help the characters on “Sesame Street” learn these ideas. Barney’s methods are frightening. In fact, a child would have to watch “Barney and Friends” dozens of times to possibly get something that would take “Sesame Street” one episode. Kinda makes you long for the educational days of “Pee-wee Herman”.

4th, the bad examples. For instance, if a child cheats or tries to hurt some one, Barney rewards them, and brings them back to the group. Instead of any reprimandation, he giggles and sends them on their way. Also, when he does teach something, like manners, he presents them in a way that tells children that any other way is wrong.

5th, he can hypnotize any child that is watching in minutes. As we know, hypnotism only works if you’re not resisting. But if you accept it, it is easy. If you’ve ever noticed, a grumpy child who has, for example, lost a pet will begin the show crying, but by the end, the child is entranced, singing and dancing with the Purple One. Most parents find this behavior shocking. No matter what, Barney makes them feel better. Some say he’s a genius. Some say he’s evil. You decide. But I find it frightening that a fat, purple T-Rex could make a child feel happy no matter what.

6th, the evil menace is against everything the Bible teaches. Only God himself should be able to summon creatures from nothing, any others who partake in this are Necromancers, and shall be doomed to Hell. Also, God made us to be followers of truth, love, and holiness. Instead, our children are following a greedy, lying beast that any priest, preacher, or rabbi should proclaim evil.

7th, Barney is merchandizing. In the “Barney-thons” on PBS, there are hundreds of commercials for Barney’s merchandise. Talk about exploiting “love” for financial games. And, did you know that PBS pays that nameless company to produce the show, and to help them produce more like it?

8th, Barney seems to have complete control over children. When Barney’s show was to be replaced by some educational show (which was forgotten), the children of the world threw one big tantrum to get him back on the air.

9th, I’d like you to compare Sesame Street to the infamous Barney and Friends. Or Mr.Rogers or the letter people. What do each of these (besides the Purple One’s show) have in common? Education of some sort. I grew up on Mr.Rogers and Sesame Street, and consider myself generous in all aspects and a somewhat intelligent person I never had Barney to raise me, and, I’ve never burned down any houses or microwaved cats or anything. I’ve turned out sane, if somewhat eager to participate in a debate of some sort. I never needed Barney to keep me under control while mom and dad rested after a long day of work. I had Big Bird, who mourned for one of the actors on the show who died, ON PUBLIC TELEVISION (not the actor, the mourning). I had Mr.Rogers, who taught me to share and how to settle an argument peacefully. That really didn’t work well, because I was a little whiny brat. But you know what? Kids aren’t supposed to dance in step, or sing songs in perfect harmony. Have you ever been in a 2nd Grade classroom when they sing the Star Spangled Banner? They’re NOT Barney-zombies. And shouldn’t be. Kids are independent, not slaves. Barney kids, however, think that sharing is supposed to be perfect. If you want it, you’ll get it, but you’ll also let whoever had it use it, too. Is that true? Is that HUMANLY POSSIBLE? One word. No.

Visual Aid:

Finally, there is the most well known (and, unfortunately, most ironic) reason of all. Here’s how it goes. Barney is a

CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR.

Change the Us to Vs

CVTE PVRPLE DINOSVAR

Now; take the Roman Numerals out.

CVTE PVRPLE DINOSVAR

CV V L DI V

now, add them up in regular form.

V=5

C=100

L=50

D=500

I=1

Now, add them up.

100 + 5 + 5 + 50 + 500 + 1 + 5 = 666!

Irony or the message behind it all? You decide!

I’m not a psychologist, but I’m also not stupid. Barney is *not* innocent, wholesome, good-for-rug-rats fun. It models “good” behavior, but only if you define “good” in a certain way. The main subtext of the show appears to be that all negative emotions should simply be denied so that we can all be happy, and that we should all conform to the group and accept the leadership of other people instead of using our own ideas. The children in Barney never admit to a single bit of jealousy, rivalry, anger, tension, fear, or any other bad feeling. Well, that’s not true, precisely. On extremely rare occasions, they do say things like, “I want to go next,” “No, I want to go next,” “Let’s go together!” All with a stupid grin on their faces that shows that there was never any real argument. The situations can always be solved immediately, care-bear style, so there is never any real tension.

The problem is that even stupid childless people like me know that children’s real lives, even at age three aren’t like that. Learning to share and take turns and such is not so easy, and there are usually plenty of tantrums and fights on the outside, and plenty of upset feelings on the inside. For instance, one of the Sesame Street episodes I watched recently had a situation where Cookie Monster was playing with a friend, and they went to get a snack, and there was only one cookie left. Of course, Cookie Monster wanted to eat it, but then he saw that he would hurt his friend’s feelings. So he went through a song (which, by the way, is much more musically interesting and educational than the ones on Barney) where he weighed all the fun he had with his friend against the momentary pleasure of a cookie, and decided that he would rather give the cookie to his friend. On Barney, even if the situation came up (which it clearly wouldn’t, because there are always enough treats to go around), they would have just smiled and immediately broken the cookie in half. Well, from Cookie Monster, they learn that those feelings of selfishness are perfectly normal (why do you think so many of the Muppets are “monsters”? Children are very afraid of their “bad” emotions), that even if there isn’t a simple solution, that by weighing the various sides of an issues, they can decide what is truly important to them. From Barney, they learn that good children don’t have bad feelings and that all problems have easy solutions, which don’t involve giving up anything important. Mister Rogers doesn’t show kids interacting with each other that much, but his make-believe and his songs send the message that you are a good person even when you have bad emotions, and that intelligence can be applied to difficult problems to find good solutions. Barney says that you are only a good person when you have good emotions, and that problems don’t exist — a very bad message to send.

Another disturbing facet to the show is the leadership role Barney takes. The children ask him what they should do to have fun, and he tells them. They ask him what they should do when they’re not sure what to do, and he tells them. They paint the pictures, and instead of asking them to use their picture to add to the growing story, he takes over and tells them what their pictures mean, decides on the title and cover and doesn’t even put their names on it. They can’t have fun until he’s there, and they can’t have fun until he tells them how to do it. They don’t make believe without his telling them what to imagine. Their own ideas are subjugated to those of the leader, who doesn’t even ask for input. This is not a good model of creative play, nor is it a good model of teamwork or of leadership.

In Sesame Street, by contrast, the adults are viewed as resources, but the children drive the action. Every episode has a running plot where a few monsters have a problem to solve (Zoe’s aunt tickles her, the fish called Wanda doesn’t want Wolfgang the seal to eat her, Big Bird and Rosita want to learn enough about babies to play family with Elmo, etc), and they come up with and try a variety of solutions to each problem, with varying degrees of success (Zoe tries wearing a tiger suit to scare her aunt, but the aunt isn’t scared. She thinks about staying away from her aunt, but realizes that she would have to give up spending time with her, which she very much enjoys. She carries a pineapple around so that the spiny leaves protect her chin, which works, but she gets tired after carrying it all day). The adults don’t muscle in to the action, but offer advice or other help (at one point, Gina is practically wrestling with Wolfgang to give Wanda and Big Bird time to implement the successful idea they came up with on their own) if asked. The adults’ ideas are generally good, but they don’t force them on the monsters. Instead, the monsters model good information-gathering and decision-making skills.

This should go to show you something: Barney has supreme power. Now, so far you’ve probably been taking these as reasons not to watch it. But this will sum all that up. In short, Barney can and has brainwashed children into thinking that the group is right. This means that some one could easily take advantage of our children. Barney may not be the supreme being, dedicated to single-handedly take over the earth, but he does have the power to clear the path for the ultimate Anti-Christ, the False Messiah, which would spell the end. How easily can your child be fooled? Try it. Just tell him/her that Barney wants them to do their chores. The results may be frightening….

A brief excerpt from Time Magazine about Barney?..

?But there is no mystery about the spell Barney casts on children. One Washington toddler wakes up each morning and greets his parents with an eager, ?Hi, watch Barney.? A four-year-old girl in Pensacola, FL, who learned that Barney appears on television while she is at preschool, threated to boycott school until her parents agreed to tape it for her. At a Connecticut elementary school, first graders pay homage to a Barney poster on the door before they walk into the classroom?

Look at that, read it over a couple of times, think about it. Now tell me that thing is not evil. Still gives me a chill to read it.

You know the Barney balloon that usually flys in the Macy’s Parade on

Thanksgiving? Well, let me tell you the story of “The Wind and Police Officer.”

The wind was happy the Thanksgiving of 1997, it was blowing harder than some would have liked. Many balloons in the Macy’s Parade hit stuff. One knocked a pole down and hurt people. But then the wind saw its goal, the Barney Balloon. “whoosh!” went the wind and knocked Barney into a pole. “Pop!” went Barney. Then the policeman came, as Barney deflated, the policeman climbed all over his hulking body and ripped him to shreds. “Hurray!” The crowd cheered.

For anyone who doubts that Barney is evil?

Just turn down volume on the TV the next time Barney appears. Striped of his music ( such as the ‘I love you, you love me’ chant, one of his most powerful spells ) Barney’s ugliness immediately becomes visible. I assure you, if you try this, you will feel a chill as you watch the demonic blob silently moving its mouth, gesturing, and dancing before you.

After a moment to recover your composure, you too will realize what must be done:

1. Barney cannot be killed by any ordinary means as his life force is made of pure evil. Therefore, as long as evil and hatred exists so will Barney. I am sure that there is a permanent way to either destroy Barney or cast out his evil spirit but ordinary methods of exorcism would not be effective.

2. Barney is protected by a group of half-lizard, half-human followers known as “Loved Ones”. Not much is known about this group. They tend to keep to themselves and only rarely together when Barney calls them. We know that they live in underground caverns where they work to further the Evil One’s perverted whims. They are extremely dangerous. One of my agents died while gathering information about them.

I will tell you this much. The time of the Purple Holocaust is coming. No one over the age of 12 will be safe. Prepare yourself now, BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. THE EVIL ONE MUST BE DESTROYED!!!!!