Independance Essay, Research Paper

July 13,1999 5:30 a.m.

This is an entry into my journal which I have been going to start at least 17 years ago. Better late then never am in Hilton Head Island South carolina.It has been 11 months since we moved down here(Mikael,Kristof,and I) You know the story which I will explain at some other time.I have my 6th job since I have been here.That is what brings me to this journal entry.In order to pay my bills I need to either make $20 an hour (x 40) or work two jobs .I have a p/t job now and since leaving Tee’s almost a month ago I have not found a full time job.I was planning to save this summer toward Kristofs golf tournaments.This will be literally impossible without at least clearing $400/a week ($ 500).I am getting desperate to achieve this necessary goal.I have been crying for a week.I am trying to figure out what the reason has been for my financial woes since arriving here.More specific at this present moment .I have sent out numerous resumes with no response.I am waiting for several calls for interviews again.None of it has worked in the past and is not working now.I am crying out to the Lord asking why,what have I done wrong-what do I have to do now-why why why what,how and when* I am at the point that if I can not find that Job I will not be able to pay my bills never mind save.I need to have an answer.I am thinking that perhaps I am not listening or obeying you.What can I do different?Please Lord I am begging for the resolution to these questions.you know and I knowthat this is the time.I need to know what is going on.Sometimes I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown.I cling to my love for you.I know you love me ,and I trust you.I just answered my own question….It says ask and you shall receive pressed down shaken and in good measure.I am just begging in pray .You ask that we bring all things to you in prayer other wise you can not grant our wishes.I am trying to have total faith,patience and give u total controll.I passed the test I am just asking for a quick resolution so we can get to the task at hand.Let me know next step.Let me hear yoyu clearly and let me have the wisdom to know your will for me and my family.I love you with all my heart and you know what my heart truly is.Forgive me for what I am doing wrong.Help me to have strength during these confusing times.Todat would be fine with me.Thanks Daddy.

Your loving child