Role Of Sexes Essay, Research Paper

Roles of the Sexes The submissive role of the female

in a marriage or relationship is a common problem in

many societies, including our own American society.

This role has become so common that in fact it is now

expected of the female. This male dominance goes as

far back as the human race, to the beginning of

relationships and marriage between the female and the

male. Then, the physical prowess of the male led to

his dominance in all situations and thus formed these

roles. Even presently, with all our advances in equal

rights and women?s? advances in the work fields, this

role of submission and passivity is still present

among our society. Why do women accept this role? Why

hasn?t it banished with the right to vote and her

expansion into the male-dominated workplace? These

roles are inbred into our society. The men are raised

to lead and take charge. Women, on the other hand, are

taught that their place is to keep peace, and in most

scenarios that means conforming. There are many

reasons women accept or allow this role. For many

women, they find safety in allowing the male to

dominate the relationship. The submissive role is

familiar or so expected that the women fear changing

the situation. Many authors illustrate this role of

the sexes and portray some reasons and situations that

are common in our society, such as Sidonie-Gabrielle

Colette, in her story ?The Hand?, and James Joyce, in

?Eveline?. These two authors both, even though each

describes a woman in a very different, yet remarkably

similar, situation, discuss one of the major reasons

women succumb to males. Colette was a significant

feminist in the early 1900?s when the women?s right

movement was in full swing. She fought for equal

opportunities for women and proved it was possible

when she was the first woman to be admitted to the

Goncourt Academy. As a novelist, she used her writing

to illustrate the assumed roles society has developed.

The Compact Bedford Introduction to Literature

remarks, ?Her professional life and three marriages

helped to shape her keen insights into modern love and

women?s lives.? (Compact Bedford, 196). Colette

understood the expected submission role because she

had lived the role of the wife several times. Also, as

one of the few women in the workplace, she was

subjected to even more male supremacy. She could write

about the reasons why women comply because she

understood and had been a victim herself. In ?The

Hand?, Colette relates a story of a young bride. From

the beginning of the story, she sets up the role of

submission in the woman, and the domination in the

husband, this unbalance of power. The husband is

asleep, yet he still holds the power. While he sleeps

comfortably, the wife is awake, supporting his head so

that he may be comfortable. She won? t even move

because she fears waking him. He may not have

consciously forced this authority over her, but he or

she created it in her mind. When he twitches, the

young wife believes it is her fault. She says

guiltily, ?I?m so heavy?I wish I could get up and turn

the light off. But he is sleeping so well?.? (Colette,

197). She does all she can to satisfy him and to

comfort him, even at the expense of her comfort or any

other luxuries. For example, ?the arm twisted again,

feebly, and she arched her back to make herself

lighter.? (Colette, 197). Here, she is succumbing to

him, even if it is through his unspoken wishes and

through his actions. Even though this is a minute

example, she is giving in to his desires. She gives up

what she would rather in order to keep him content.

Colette uses the description of the characters to

emphasize the unbalance of power. Not only does the

husband outweigh the wife in power in the

relationship; he is physically dominant as well. The

young wife is described as slim and adolescent. The

husband, on the otherhand, is described as having

physical, not only mental, prowess. He is handsome,

athletic, and physically dominant. He has very big

arms, hands larger than the wives whole head, and

?powerful knuckles and the veins engorged by the

pressure on his arm? (Colette, 197). By describing him

such as big, powerful, and hair on his hands and arms,

the author portrays him as an animal of sorts. At one

part of the story, the wife even remarks on this when

she says, ?It?s as if I were laying on some animal?

(Colette, 197). The hand is described as ?apelike? and

?lowered its claws, and became a pliant beast?

(Colette, 197). The author uses this as a tool to show

unbalance of power. It is used to help the reader

understand that the male is dominant in all respects

of the relationship. His physical supremacy enhances

his authority in the marriage as well. The wife lays

awake, afraid to move because she is supporting his

sleeping body. She is so fearful to wake him that,

even though she is in discomfort and wants to turn off

the light, she relinquishes so as not to bother him.

As the story continues, she begins to see this darker

side of him. Before, she did not realize she was

succumbing to him or that he had any power over her.

The young wife realizes his physical prowess and his

potential to do harm. The story never says if he

actually abuses her, but metaphorically shows through

her thoughts and actions of the hand that he could or

does. The hand, through her imagining and thoughts,

takes on animalistic characteristics. This reflects

upon the barbaric natures, the animal like fierceness,

of the dominating male in relationships. The hand is

described ?offended, reared back and tensed up in the

shape of a crab and waited, ready for battle?

(Colette, 197). When she is disgusted by this

behavior, the hand becomes defensive. This behavior of

the hand is a metaphor for the roles in relationships.

The male is often abusive or controlling in a

dominant-submissive marriage. If the wife does not

comply with his orders, then he often strikes out,

whether it is by physical force or verbally. After the

fact, especially if the wife is disgusted or hurt, the

male usually denies such behavior on his part. In the

same way the hand ?appeared to respond to this

startling discovery, this disgust. It regrouped its

forces?? (Colette, 197), the male becomes defensive

because he knows he is guilty of the act, but does not

accept responsibility. In this way, the hand

symbolizes all dominating relationships. By the

conclusion of the story, the wife realizes the power

he has over her. In realizing this, she has the chance

to free herself of this role of submission. However,

she chooses to succumb. The final line, ?Then she

concealed her fear, bravely subdued herself, and,

beginning her life of duplicity, of resignation, and

of a lowly, delicate diplomacy, she leaned over and

humbly kissed the monstrous hand? (Colette, 198),

shows that she decides not to change her situation,

but rather accept her role of submission. Why does she

choose this life? For the young wife, as for many

women who accept the same path, there is security in

the non-dominant role. All the decisions are made for

them. Also, it might be that she knows no other love.

This is her first relationship and she is still an

adolescent. She does not know if these roles are

normal and excepted, but she also doesn?t know if they

are not. This life is still exciting and new to her,

and for the most part she enjoys it. He is not abusive

all the time; in fact he is often charming. The next

morning he shows his charming side when he asks ?Do

you want this slice, darling? I?ll butter it for you?

(Colette, 197). The wife, as do many women, almost

trick themselves into thinking that he is not bad

because he can good sometimes. And the times he is

good, he is really kind. The wife decides she can

accept her fate in the role of resignation because she

begins to think it isn?t that bad all the time. Also,

she was used to submitting under her parent?s

authority. This is the first time she is not under the

watchful eye of her parents. That wasn?t that long

prior to this story. Therefore, the submissive role is

familiar and less frightening than change. People are

afraid of change, and for many women diminishing these

roles would require change. James Joyce?s story

?Eveline? further illustrates on this fear for change.

In this story, the woman is not dominated by a

husband, but rather her father. Her mother passed

away, and Eveline was left to assume the role of

taking care of her siblings and the household. Her

father, even though is not described in detail, is

hinted as being abusive and tyrannical. ?He was

usually bad of a Saturday night? (Joyce, 428), meaning

he drank heavily. He also controlled Eveline?s

spending, and forced her to do the shopping and

cleaning. Eveline obeyed without a word for fear that

he would strike her. She says, ?Even now, though she

was over nineteen, she sometimes felt herself in

danger of her father?s violence? (Joyce, 428). Eveline

wanted to move onto a better life. She did not want to

be treated as her mother had; she did not want to be

forced to succumb her entire life as had her mother

and many other women. When a sailor asked for her hand

in marriage, Eveline jumped at the chance. She saw

this as her way out, as a way to change her situation.

She thinks, ?in her new home, in a distant unknown

country, it would be not like that. She would not be

treated as her mother had been.? (Joyce, 428). This

was her chance to change her situation. However, when

the time came for her to leave, she backed out. She

decided to remain with her life at home with her

father rather than move on and marry this sailor. She

had the chance of freedom and did not take advantage

of it. Why did Eveline decide to stay with her role of

submission? She was afraid of change. ?In her home

anyway she had shelter and food; she had those whom

she had known all her life about her.? (Joyce, 428).

Her home and the people around her were familiar. With

change she didn?t know what to expect. At least at

home, even if it was not the best situation, she knew

her place and her role. Also, submission was the only

love she had known. Her father and his tyrannical ways

were the only life she had ever experienced. While

Eveline is thinking and deciding whether or not to

leave with the sailor, she reflects back on her life

and says, ?It was hard work-a hard life-but now that

she was about to leave it she did not find it a wholly

undesirable life.? Even though she was not delighted

by her current role, she found comfort in its

familiarity and found security in knowing what her

role was. Eveline even convinced herself that her

father wasn?t that bad. She says, ?Her father was

becoming old lately, she noticed; he would miss her.

Sometimes he could be very nice.? (Joyce, 429). Like

many women in the same situation, and like the young

wife in ?The Hand?, Eveline saw the male that is

oppressing her as not evil. She almost convinces

herself that he is good, that he doesn?t mean to be

dominant and abusive. His behavior is tolerable

because it is familiar and can be kind. She, as many

women, feels that succumbing and caring for the

household and the male is her duty. She is scared by

change. This fear was so strong that she would rather

resign to the male dominance. These stories depict

many of the reasons behind the formation and the

continuation of these roles of dominance and

submission. It began a long time ago with the male

being physically dominant, and then assumed supremacy

in relationships. The women were forced physically or

verbally or emotionally to obey and comply. Now, with

advances in women?s rights and the expansion of

women?s role in the workplace and society, they are

given a chance to abolish or escape these roles. Yet,

many of the women do not take this chance. Maybe they

feel it is their duty, or are just scared of the

change as Eveline did. Or perhaps the women do not

recognize the male supremacy, as the young wife in

?The Hand? initially did not. For whatever reason, it

is strong enough so that the women continue to accept

these roles as they have for hundreds of years. These

will not change until either the women decide to

change and not succumb to men, and society cease to

breed these roles into the minds of the children.

The Compact Bedford Introduction to

Literature. Michael Meyer. Bedford / St. Martin?s,

Boston, 2000. Joyce, James. ?Eveline?. The Compact

Bedford Introduction to Literature. Michael Meyer.

Bedford / St. Martin?s, Boston, 2000.

Sidonie-Gabrielle, Colette. ?The Hand?. The Compact

Bedford Introduction to Literature. Michael Meyer.

Bedford / St. Martin?s, Boston, 2000.