Romeo&Juliet : Parody Essay, Research Paper

ROMY AND JULIUS

ACT III SCENE I

 MARCY (mercutio)

 BONNY (benvolio)

 TAI (tybalt)

 ROMY (romeo)

IN THE THEATER ARCADE

MARCY: Like oh my God, wouldn?t this make the coolest accessory. It like totally complements my outfit!

Bonny: Just play the game

MARCY: (mumbles) Like fine, miss thing, you don?t have to be so rude. Like, okay, I have to tell you something else. Guess who I saw yesterday at the mall getting a fro-yo, like, it was so totally cool amiga.

Bonny: (false enthusiasm) Who? OH wait, I don?t care. So anyways, what time is it?

MARCY: Okay, I can get this one, like Jeff has been teaching me how to tell time?gotta prepare myself, it?s uh, (looks at watch) fourteen thousand five hundred and fifty two.

Bonny: Let me see! (walks over to Marcy)

MARCY: Like fine, if you don?t believe me you can check for myself.

Bonny: It?s eight o?clock, where?s Romy? She should be here by now.

MARCY: I don?t know, she was like, suppose to meet use here at 7:45

Bonny: Well I?m not waiting anymore, we won?t get any seats. She?ll find us, if she shows.

IN THE THEATER

MARCY: Like, oh my God! It?s so dark in here, you know, like that closet game the guys always make me play.

Spectators: SHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonny: Shut up, you are such a ditz! Common, let?s go find seats.

MARCY: There are like, two over there behind that totally hot baldwin!

(Bonny and Marcy take their seats)

_____: (laughs)?ha?.ha?ha?.ha?..ha?.ha.

TAI: What is that annoying noise?!?!

_____: (laughs)?ha?.ha?ha?.ha?..ha?.ha.

TAI: There it is again!! (looks at Marcy) It?s you!!!!!!

MARCY: Oh my God!! (nudges Bonny) it?s Tai. Hey Bonny look..

MARCY and Bonny: It?s Tai!

TAI: That?s the princess of cats to you!

MARCY: Well MEOW!

Bonny: OOOHHH! So scared, watch me quiver in fear! I?m going to get something to drink; do you want something Marcy? (starts walking away)

MARCY: Sure, can you like get me a drink?

TAI: No, don?t bother, here take mine! (spills her drink on Marcy)

MARCY: Like that really wasn?t necessary, it?s like oh my God! (runs away)

TAI: Oops, did I do that?

IN THE BATHROOM

MARCY: Like why did she have to do that, I didn?t ask?Oh, Romy, like oh my God, what are you doing here?

Bonny: Yeah, you were supposed to be here for seven forty five!

ROMY: Sorry guys, I got?..delayed. Yeah, that?s it I got delayed. What happened to you?

MARCY: Like, oh my God, you know that girl Tai?

ROMY: Yeah,

MARCY: I was like kinda being friendly and all, and like not, I mean minding my own business, and then she like spilled her aqua mineral all over me, and I was like HELLO! NEW OUTFIT!

ROMY: Yeah, well maybe it was an accident, it?s okay.

MARCY: It?s getting all over my shoes!

ROMY: Well, it?s okay, it?s only water, and it?ll dry eventually.

Bonny: Oh, we got company, I?m going back to watch the movie.

MARCY: Like, okay, I can?t believe it, it?s like ruined.

TAI: Hi girls, hey Marcy have a little, accident? You really should see someone about your problem.

MARCY: I did, like the doctor said the medication?..

(Romy nudges Marcy)

MARCY: Oh, like you spilled the water all over me!

TAI: Listen, (pulls out a piece of paper), here?s the number for Bed Wetters Anonymous, you really should try calling them sometime. (hands Marcy the paper)

MARCY: And, like, why exactly would you have this on you? Previous experiences perhaps? Hello, my name is Tai not only am I the president and founder of Bed Wetters Anonymous, but I?m also a customer.

TAI: Are you insulting me?

MARCY: No actually, I?m complementing you courage, I mean it takes a really brave girl to admit she has a problem and do something about it.

TAI: That?s it

TAI and MARCY: VERBAL FIGHT

(Austin Powers?oh behave!)

TAI and MARCY: VERBAL FIGHT

ROMY: Guys, GUYS! Common, let?s go watch the movie that?s what we came here to do.

TAI: Yeah, Marcy, you can go, it?s Romy I have to get even with for trashing my party last week.

MARCY: Excuse me, are we like totally blind here? You spilled your drink on me!!! (grabs nail file) ON GUARD!!

TAI: No, I don?t think so!

(CENSORED?flushing, gargling)

TAI: (takes Marcy?s head out of toilet) Oops, did I do that again?

MARCY: (coughs) How bad is it?

ROMY: It?s not that bad, really, it?s not really that bad.

(Marcy slowly gets up)

ROMY: NO! Marcy don?t look!!

MARCY: I have to, (screams), it?s awful! I mean, it?s like not as bad as Mimi on the Drew

Carey Show, or Tammy Faye Tucker, but it?s enough, it?s enough to not make me able to be Prom Queen. That?s like, my only reason for living! Just promise me one thing; let nobody see me like this, like this is a horrible state. Like that Shakespeare dude said, a plague of bad hair on both your houses. (dies)

ROMY: Alright, (covers Marcy with a blanket), OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED MARCY, YOU BEEP!

TAI: Wait, wait, don?t look at me, that was like totally an accident.

ROMY: You just killed my best friend!

TAI: Oh darn! And geese, just before she won the Nobel Prize.

ROMY: Ok, so she wasn?t the smartest person around, but she certainly didn?t deserve to die.

TAI: Oh, get over it already.

ROMY: No, you?re going to pay for this (grabs Marcy?s nail file), ON GUARD! What the..? (throw?s nail file away and grabs plunger)

TAI: Oh, yeah, good idea. I always knew you would make a good plumber.

ROMY: Yeah, well watch me work! (hits Tai over the head with plunger)

TAI: (falls and dies)

Bonny: (comes in) What?s taking you guys so??what happened here?

ROMY: I don?t know, I killed Tai because she killed Marcy, and everything happened so fast. Oh my God! What am I going to do? I just killed Julius? cousin!

Bonny: Run Forrest run! I mean, run Romy run! Geese, I?ve been spending too much time with Marcy?

(Romy running away?treadmill)

(Manager of theater comes into bathroom)

Bonny: Hey! Aren?t you the guy form Prince?s Put-Put Palace?

Manager: No honey, that was my old job, I?m now the manager here. You can call me the Manager Formerly Known As Prince. There seems to be a little catastrophe here. What?s going on missy?

Bonny: Ummmmmmmmm???.welllllllllll??..Romy killed her, because she killed her, because she attacked her with a nail file. Got it?

Manager: Of course darling, (sympathetic) but geese, that?s kinda sad, oh the poor thing, well can you tell her that (yelling) SHE IS NEVER ALLOWED IN MY THEATER AGAIN!

THE END

Bibliography

romeo and juliet by will shakespeare