The Creative Mind Of The Spunkmaster Essay, Research Paper

Pyro explodes from The Nassau Coliseum in the heart of Long Island, as the 2nd

PCW PPV kicks off with Metallica performing “Seek -N- Destroy” to open up the

show !! The crowd is psyched up for this show tonight folks !! Your

commentators at ringside are Jackass JR and King Zio !!!

( “All The Small Things” by Blink 182 plays over the sound system )

JACKASS JR – Here comes Ashley Marty, leading her punk brigade of Cristian

Maiullo, Craig Grauso, and Tim Ogden to do battle with the GOD Squad.

( “Revolution? by Kirk Franklin plays )

KING ZIO – Here comes the GOD Squad, consisting of Michael Morganti, Kevin

Cahill, and Father Joly with Maria Nouri and Kelly Dow. Wait !! Another body

has made his way through the curtain, its no…IT CAN’T BE !!

JACKASS JR- ITS THE SULTAN OF THE SAX !! ITS RANDY SILANG !!!!

The Punk Pit comes out strong, but the lanky body of Morganti enables him to

toss Craig around the ring like a sack of potatoes. Ogden gets a point for

his team by taking out the ankle of Michael, and the two Punk Pitters proceed

to give Morganti a wish-bone !! Morganti is writhing in pain from the shock

of his legs being separated in that cruel type fashion.

Cristian goes to backdrop Cahill, but instead Cahill throws Cristians head to

the mat with a handful of spiky, highlighted hair . He then drops an elbow,

and goes for the pin, but its broken up by a big boot to the head by Ogden.

All hell breaks loose as all 6 men enter the ring !! Kelly enters to low-blow

Cristian, but is speared to hell by Ashley !! The Punk Pit picks up momentum

as Grauso goes for the Stewy Spike, but as he gets up Maria Nouri hits him

with a flying clothesline !! Randy then covers Grauso and the GOD Squad

steals a victory !!

JACKASS JR- What a match !! I hope we see more of these 2 factions against

each other !! The GOD Squad better count their blessings though King !!

KING ZIO – Definitely JR !! But now we have a hardcore title match coming up

!! These 3 have some blood, sweat and tears to shed after this !!

( Samurai music plays )

JACKASS JR -Coming to the ring, by way of Tokyo, Japan, he is the Lethal

Weapon, Steve “Chewy” Blackman !!

KING ZIO – This guy has no personality JR !! Kinda reminds me of that guy

Martin…that really smart kid at that PC high school…

( Come As You Are by Nirvana plays )

KING ZIO – Now entering the junkyard, this is Raven !!!

JACKASS JR – Haven’t I seen this bum before ? Didn’t he play the part of

Lysander ? Nah, couldn’t be…..

( Wait and Bleed by Slipknot plays )

KING ZIO – Here we go !! Here comes the champion !! From the Red Hook section

of Brooklyn, New York, this is TAZ !!!

JACKASS JR – People know this man as RAVI from the PC locker room !! He has a

reputation as one tough, little son of a gun !!

All 3 men immediately grab a weapon, Chewy gets his resident kendo sticks,

Raven armed with a chain, and Taz with a steel chair. Chewy goes to swing,

but Raven catches it with the chain, and proceeds to start swinging The

Lethal Weapon around like a retarded merry-go-round !! Taz gets kayoed in the

face with one of Chewy’s feet, and he is knocked cold !! Chewy goes for the

flying kick, but Raven dodges it and catches Chewy on the left ankle with a

NICE chair shot !! He then DDTs him onto a metal car bumper, and Chewy is

seeing stars !!

Taz is regaining his senses, and applies the chokehold on Raven, but Raven

falls back, and Taz is crushed on top of a car !! Raven gets into his car,

pushes the pedal to the metal, and proceeds to run over Taz in much the same

fashion the MoonDoggie was run over by Raven after the drama in the PC

parking lot !! Raven goes for the pin, and he have a NEW PCW HARDCORE

CHAMPION !!!

Just then, The Full Monti Val Venis sneaks up behind the champ, and lays him

out with a pair of brass knuckles !! He then stands over him, but nobody

knows his reason !!

JACKASS JR – Dammit King !! That was so LOW of The Full Monti !! How dare he

attack the champion after a hard-fought contest !!

KING ZIO – Your right JR !! Raven will have sumthing to say before the night

is over !!

JACKASS JR – Damn King, this card is getting better by the match, and we’re

only in the 2nd one as well !!

KING ZIO – I’m sure Raven will have some business with The Full Monti in

weeks to come !! Maybe something will be said on WARZONE tomorrow night ?

JACKASS JR – I’ll bet the farm on it King !! By the way, WARZONE will now be

culminating monthly at the Paladin Palace !! Wait…this just in, a limo is

arriving at the arena ? Stationed out front is our own The Real Paul Houlis

!! Take it away !!

( Outside the arena in the parking lot )

PAUL HOULIS – Fans, this limo pulling up has been rumored to be The Great

Franny Menahoony !! I wonder what Lucas has to say on the World title match

between the Soprano and The Game Triple H ?

( The door opens, and it is indeed the infamous Franny !! )

Franny doesn’t mutter a word, as his cool cat persona of beach shades and

Hawaiian shirt stand out in the crowd. Following him in hula dancer gear is

Miss Sarapin, carrying a plate of jell-O !! Houlis struggles to get in a

word, but is met with some quality Jell-o wrestling substance into his mouth

!!

HOULIS – More on this as it unfolds fans !! Until next time…same Houlis

time, same Houlis channel !!

JACKASS JR ? Up next, we have the match you?ve all been waiting for!! But first, let?s take you back to WrestleFest 2000 to show you how this match was signed.

[Clips from the Mamacita / Head Cheerleader match play, including referee The Spunkmaster being hit with a glass tray, and his announcement of a mixed tag team match to decide which of the two women would be PCW Women?s Champion]

The second act of Thanksgiving Throwdown opens with a view from the outside of Long Island?s Nassau Veteran?s Memorial Coliseum. Inside the arena, two lines of pyro explode toward the ring, finishing with flame pops from the ring posts. A shot of the crowd shows numerous ?PC F?N W? signs spotted by the camera. One sign pictures newly-crowned champion Rene Leon holding the belt, with the blazing caption ?The Soprano needs no recount!!?

In the front row, the camera centers on Ryan Hauck, one of the founding members of The Nation of Spunk. He goes by the name Hawk now, and according to rumors, may be here to challenge The Spunkmaster for his role in the PCW creative team. Head of Security ?Big Bad Ed? Oblen tries in vain to keep the fans from barging into the camera shot.

[cue Spunkmaster?s music]

The Spunkmaster walks out onto the stage, and slowly looks around the arena. He makes his way to the ring, pausing to glare at The Hawk sitting at ringside. McHale pulls his always-ready microphone from its holster on his hip. Chants of ?PCW!! PCW!! PCW!!? prevent him from speaking. Finally, he opens his mouth.

?Just simmer down now.?

A few more chants, and then the crowd starts to die down.

?Well, look at this. It seems like PCW has landed??in??LONG ISLAND NEW YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK!!!!!!!!!!!!?

As expected, the mention of the area?s name drives the crowd to near insanity.

?Damn, I love cheap pops.

?Well, I seem to remember a little incident at WrestleFest 2000, where I got whacked with a glass tray. A match was made that night?by me, of course?for the PCW Women?s Championship belt!! It?s time for the no disqualification mixed tag match, with the female member of the winning team taking home the title. SO SAYETH THE SPUNKMASTER!!?

McHale exits the ring to join the broadcast crew at ringside. Zio and JR welcome him and await the entrance of the participants.

Jackass JR ? What a pleasure it is to have the Spunkmaster with us at ringside for what will surely be one of the fan-favorite matches of the night.

King Zio ? We?ve got puppies and pom-poms!! What more do you need, JR?!?

Spunkmaster ? King, I might just have to ask you to simmer down now.

King Zio ? Simmer down, Sean? Just look at what?s coming out of the curtain!!

?Ma?ma?CI?ta?? [cue Mamacita?s music]

Michele Clear walks down the aisle, smiling for the fans, but obviously getting ready for the match.

Jackass JR ? She looks psyched, gentlemen. This could get interesting.

[cue Road Dogg?s music]

King Zio ? Here comes her partner Mike Campbell. I think they?re making goo-goo eyes at each other!!

Spunkmaster ? They accompany each other to the ring, Z, but let?s see if they can work together inside it.

Jackass JR ? They will certainly have their work cut out for them, because here comes one half of their tag team opponents.

[cue Head Cheerleader?s music]

King Zio ? Pom-Poms!!!!! We?ve got puppies in the ring, and pom-poms on the way. I don?t know which way to look, JR!!

Spunkmaster ? I?d suggest you look straight ahead, King, unless you want to get on the wrong side of the Road Dogg or??.

[cue AATLAS music]

Spunkmaster ? ??or this man, Mister AATLAS!!

Jackass JR ? The staredown is starting already, so let?s get right to the action.

Much to the delight of the fans, Allison and Michele are picked to start off the match, while their male counterparts wait in their respective corners.

The two lock up, and Michele immediately goes for the blonde locks of the Head Cheerleader. Allison is thrown halfway across the ring, and lands leaning against the lower turnbuckle.

After a second of recovery time, the two lock up again, and this time Allison returns the favor on Michele, sending her into the corner next to the Road Dogg. The two women glare at each other, and Michele tags in Mike Campbell. Allison does the same, bringing Dave Monti into the match.

Spunkmaster ? Well, that was anti-climactic, wasn?t it?

King Zio ? What did he say, JR?

Jackass JR ? Forget it King. Just watch the match.

RD and AATLAS trade armlocks until Dave throws in an elbow, momentarily stunning the Road Dogg. Monti bounces off the ropes, and delivers a shoulder tackle to Mike?s chest, sending him to the mat. Dave looks to repeat the move, but Mike flattens himself on the mat, sending his opponent against the opposite ropes. On the return trip, Mister AATLAS is met with a monkey flip that sends him over the ropes to the floor below.

King Zio ? Ut-oh, JR. I hate it when this happens. We usually end up with a broken broadcast table!!

Jackass JR ? I don?t think you need to worry this time, King. Dave is fired up, and is jumping right back in there!!

Monti rushes the Road Dogg, and the two go crashing into the turnbuckle next to Michele. Mamacita slaps her partner?s shoulder, making her the legal one in the ring. She reaches back and with all her might, smacks Dave across the face. Dave looks stunned, but then smiles and laughs. He turns his back and walks over to his corner, bringing in Allison again.

The two women begin trading open-hand slaps across the face, until Allison begins to take the upper hand. She whips Mamacita into the ropes, and delivers a clothesline that snaps Michele?s head back. Allison pulls her downed opponent to her feet by her hair, and puts on a headlock, setting her up for the Bench Clearer DDT. Thinking quickly, Michele escapes with a double-leg takedown, putting the Head Cheerleader on her back.

King Zio ? Sean, don?t.

Spunkmaster ? I said nothing.

Mamacita wraps up Allison?s legs, and drops to her back, slingshoting her opponent over her head and into the turnbuckle. Walking over, Michele boosts the Head Cheerleader up so she is sitting on the top turnbuckle, setting her up for the ??No Mas!? hurricanrana finisher. Michele climbs the turnbuckle, but Dave Monti rushes over to knock her off. RD is furious, and dashes across the ring toward Mister AATLAS. The force of the clothesline sends both men crashing to the arena floor, and they begin battling their way up the entryway, slamming each other?s heads into the steel barricades lining the aisle.

Jackass JR ? It looks like theses two are headed to the back to finish their match there.

Spunkmaster ? Doesn?t matter, JR. The ladies are the legal participants, and it?s their belt anyway!!

King Zio ? Look out behind you, Sean!!

Climbing over the barricade behind the broadcast table, a member of the audience hurdles the table and grabs the Women?s title belt on the way to the ring. It?s Squiggly E, Eilleen Ramirez!!!

Mamacita is trying to set Allison up again for her finisher, but E waffles her with the title belt, knocking Michele unconscious. The Head Cheerleader smiles, and struts her way over to the downed Mamacita. Allison puts a single finger on her chest, and with the no disqualification stipulation, the referee has no choice but to count 1?2?3.

Jackass JR ? No!! No!! No!! Look at what you?ve done, Sean!!

King Zio ? How can we give the belt to someone who won it like this?!?

Spunkmaster ? These two teams wanted at each other so bad, they made it no DQ. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. So sayeth The Spunkmaster.

McHale drops his headphones on the broadcast table and walks back to the dressing room.

JACKASS JR – Wonder where that came from King ? But anyway, our next match

involves 4 teams gunning for the tag team gold !! KroniK are the defending

champions, but they have some tough opposition in the likes of the Hardy

Boyz, The Acolytes, and Edge and Christian !!

( Jump, by Van Halen plays )

KING ZIO – Coming to the ring, accompanied by Lita, the team of Nick Vertucci

and Lance Castaldo, the Hardy Boyz !!!

( Iron Man, by Black Sabbath plays )

JACKASS JR – Now entering, at a total combined weight of 650 pounds, the team

of Tim Hanley and Jeff Galletly, the Acolytes !!!!

( Pretty Fly, by the Offspring plays )

KING ZIO – Making their way through the crowd, decked in blond wigs and tight

leather, Donnie “Edge” Maskal and “Christian” Brendan Burke !!!

( Higher by Creed plays )

JACKASS JR – Now entering, the current PCW World Tag Team Champions, Big John

and Vic, they are KroniK !!!

Mayhem starts immediately, as this is a four-corners elimination match, with

Hanley quickly dominating Edge, gorilla-pressing him and tossing him onto the

other 6 men outside the ring !!! Lance goes to moonsault, and connects !!

This is a human demolition derby !! Back in the ring, as John takes a beating

from Galletly, Vic leaves the arena !! John is flabbergasted, and is finished

off with a super power-bomb from the top rope, as the Acolytes elimnate

KroniK !!

Meanwhile, Christian is crotched on the top rope by The Hardys, and met with

a steel chair to the face !! Nick goes for the swanton bomb, and connects !!

Edge and Christian have just been eliminated !!! The Acolytes immediately

beat down the Hardys, but Hanley misses with a clothesline, and knocks out

Galletly !! Lance rolls up Big Tim, and The Hardys are your new PCW Tag Team

Champions !!!

Back in the ring, the Acolytes start shoving each other !! Before a brawl is

erupted, Big Bad Ed Oblen and Company break it up !! Just then…

( Wanna be Sedated by the Ramones hits the sound system !!! )

The Dudley Boyz have arrived !!!!

Austin Ocello and Brandon McLeod have invaded PCW !!! They break out the

tables, and immediately put Galletly through, getting some wood !!! They then

attack Hanley, ending their assault with a Whazzzuppp !!! crotch headbomb !!

JACKASS JR – Those damn Dudleys !!

KING ZIO – What a match !! The puppies were on full display in the form of

Lita !!!

?Ma?ma?CI?ta?? [cue Mamacita?s music]

King Zio ? More puppies!!!!

Jackass JR ? What could possibly be coming here? Mamacita lost in her bid to become the first PCW Women?s Champion earlier this evening. Does she have some words for Squiggly E?

King Zio ? I think she?s gonna tell us JR!!

Michele strides down the aisle purposefully, grabs a mic from ringside, and slides under the bottom rope into the ring.

?You know, what bugs me isn?t losing to that blonde bimbo Ms. Head. Head Cheerleader. Whatever. It?s getting hit from behind by a so-called woman who is too afraid to climb in the ring with a REEEEEEEEAL woman!!?

Various hoots and whistles come from the crowd. The camera catches one fan in a DDP shirt holding up a red and yellow ?WOW? sign.

?So Slimy E, get your butt out here and take what?s coming to you!!?

King Zio ? She looks fired up JR!!

Jackass JR ? This should be good. Here comes Squiggly E!!

[cue Squiggly E?s music]

Eilleen glares at Michele from the entryway. ?You really think you can handle me? Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. Get ready for a beatdown!!?

E charges the ring, only to be met with kicks to the head by the raging Mamacita. Ramirez looks like she?s in bad shape early on as Michele is holding nothing back.

King Zio ? JR, I think I?m ascared of her now.

Mamacita whips Eilleen into the far corner, and gets ready to end the match quickly by setting her up for the ??No Mas!? It looks like this match is about to turn ugly at the hands of The Head Cheerleader. Allison races down the aisle with her new championship belt in hand.

Jackass JR ? Here we go again, King!! Another run-in!!

King Zio ? It?s almost like it was scripted this way!!

This time, Mamacita is ready for the sneak-attack. The Head Cheerleader jumps up onto the apron, only to be met by the fist of one pissed-off Mamacita!! The Women?s Championship belt lands right in the hands of Michele, who turns just in time to see Eilleen charging in for a clothesline. Around comes the belt, and whack!! E?s legs keep moving, but her head stays behind.

King Zio ? She?s out cold JR!! Mamacita is finally getting some revenge!!

Jackass JR ? Don?t talk too soon, King. There?s a little too much celebrating going on in that ring right now.

King Zio ? Pin her!! Pin her!!

Michele is bending over her downed opponent, taunting Squiggly E and slapping her across the face. She raises her arms in victory, and poses for the crowd. Mamacita continues her turn until she is facing the runway again. And there right in front of her is The Head Cheerleader. Allison delivers a quick kick to the midsection, and nails the Bench Clearer DDT!!

King Zio ? That?s it, King. I quit!!

Amid booing from the crowd, The Head Cheerleader drags the limp body of Squiggly E on top of Mamacita, and counts the 1?2?3.

Jackass JR ? Well, it wasn?t a sanctioned match, but it sure looks like it?ll put a bit more fuel on this fire. That was your match King !! But our next match pits the

Godfather putting his Euro-Intercontinenal Title on the line against The

Crippler Marrero Benoit and Latino Heat Rob Garcia !!! This is a

triple-threat match, and the first man who makes a pin becomes the new champ!!

( Smooth by Santana plays )]

KING ZIO- Introducing first, Latino Heat Rob Garcia !!!

( Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix plays )

JACKASS JR – Coming to the ring, from the PCW Training Facility, he is the

Crippler Marrero Benoit !!!

( Shaft, by Isaac Hayes plays )

KING ZIO – Now entering, accompanied by the Ho Train, The Godfather Dave

Patino !

Benoit immediately goes for the champ, locking him up in a reverse chicken

wing, as Latino Heat beats the Pimp Daddy’s legs with flying dropkicks.

Benoit then hits a series of reverse suplexes, making the champ woozy, as

Latino Heat is distracted by the Ho Train. Benoit then makes a cover, but is

broken up by Garcia’s boot to the back of the head. The Godfather then nails

Benoit out to the ring, which brings Vinny “Chris Champange Kanyon” Santa to

the ring, who proceeds to whip Benoit into the crowd and knocks him out with

a suplex off the top of the stairs !! Benoit is counted out, and Latino Heat

hits the Flying Frog Splash !! As a pin is attempted, a guitar is broken over

Garcia’s head !!! Jeff Jarrett ( Eddie Wilk ) has entered PCW !!! Godfather

hits the Pimp Drop, and we still have the same champion !!!

( Just then, Cotton Eye Joe hits the sound system !!! )

JACKASS JR – King, is that who I think it is !!

KING ZIO – Its the Commissioner of PCW !!! Its Jai Patel !!!

COMMISH PATEL – Well fans of PCW, you know how I’ve been in such HIGH demand

as of late ? Well, along with my good friend the Spunkmaster, I propose a

match for WARZONE tomorrow night !!! You Godfather, shall once again defend

your title against Vinny Champagne Kanyon, Jeff Jarrett, Latino Heat, The

Crippler, and Big Poppa Pump Dan Farina !!! Thats my speech, and you shall

obey it !! Have a nice day !!!

( The commish exits, with Cotton Eye Joe blasting )

JACKASS JR – What a debut for the commish !! PCW should best watch out !!

KING ZIO – Well, our next match pits two megastars against each other, as The

Rock takes on Rob Van Dam !!!

( Walk by Pantera plays )

JACKASS JR – Coming to the ring, he is Mr. PPV, RVD , John Rotolo !!!! The

crowd is going nuts King !!!

( Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down plays )

KING ZIO – Now entering, he is The People’s Champ, The Rock Justin Angelica

!!!!!!

I can’t even hear myself JR !! The crowd is going insane !!!

The two immediately lock up, with Rock slamming RVD, then parading him with

rights and lefts, but RVD reverses it and monkey flips Rock and throws a

roundhouse kick that leaves the Rock goofy !!! RVD then goes for the

Five-star frog splash, but Rock gets his knees up and RVD is doubled over in

pain !! Rock then hits the Rock-bottom, then goes for the People’s Elbow, but

is slammed with a chair by THe Real Paul Houlis !! RVD capitalizes, hits the

Van Daminator roundhouse heel kick, with a chair for good measure, and The

Rock is pinned !! RVD and Houlis walk out together.

JACKASS JR – Omigod King, theres a history there… what surprises will this

duo have in store for PCW in the weeks to come ? This event has been a classic so far, but we have 4 marquee matches left on this card !! Our next match pits Mr. Ass Chris Campbell against his old friend Justin Credible ( Monkey Boy Aloi ). A bonus added to

this match is that the special guest referee is Rhino Lourido, who has

connections with both men.

( Civil War by Guns n Roses plays, showing a video vignette of the bad blood

that has built between both men over time )

KING ZIO – JR I hope you hang on to your hat in this one because I have a

firm grip on my crown !! This one is gonna be bad and bloody !!!

( My Generation by Limp Bizkit plays )

JACKASS JR – Coming to the ring, he is the special guest referee, this is

Rhino Lourido !! Will this mountain of a man be able to keep the match intact

?

( Freak on A Leash by KoRn plays )

KING ZIO – Introducing, originally from Queens, NY, He is the Hardcore Icon,

he is Justin Credible !!!

( Jump Around by House of Pain plays )

JACKASS JR – Now entering the ring, residing in Seton Hall, Mr. Ass Chris

Campbell !!!

Rhino lets the men go at it, with they immediately going to the outside,

brawling all the way !! Aloi hits Mr.Ass with a tray of cold beers, then

downs some !! Mr Ass then hurls Credible over the guard-rail, and then

suplexes him on the cold concrete !! Credible gets up, dodges Mr Ass, who

proceeds to meet the ringpost at 50 MPH !! Credible then tosses him in the

ring, and proceeds to cane Mr Ass with his Singapore Cane !! Mr Ass is now

busted open, and Credible is merciless !! He goes to the top-rope, but misses

with a flying kneedrop !! Mr Ass then proceeds to take a chair and beat down

the Hardcore Icon !! He puts him in the corner, but hesitates a slight bit

and meets a size 14 boot to his family jewels !! Both men are down, but

Credible gets up first, and hits the “That’s Incredible” tombstone piledriver

!! Rhino then out of nowhere spears Credible right to hell !! Mr Ass then

gets up and applies the infamous sharpshooter !! Credible is wearing a mask

of crimson red, and Rhino puts the boots to him !! Out of nowhere…

( Enter Sandman plays !! )

THE GREAT MUTA JON YAU HAS COME TO PCW !!!

Muta immediately sprays green mist into Rhino’s eyes, blinding him !! He then

knocks out Mr Ass with a spinning heel kick !! But the Big Show Omar Elsebai

enters the ring and chokeslams Muta outside the ring, destroying the

concessionaire’s table in the audience !! Omar then proceeds to power-bomb

Credible, but then…

( Back in Black by AC/DC plays )

JACKASS JR – King, thats Rikishi Sawal and Vampiro ( Tom Tomcyzk ) !!! These

are Joe’s buddies from PC !! They’re attacking the Big Show !!

The 2 men entering clear the ring of Rhino, Mr Ass, and The Big Show !! Freak

on A Leash plays as the team of Credible, Muta, Vampiro, and Rikishi stand

triumphant !!!

KING ZIO – Holy hardcore JR !! All these men have their own agendas here

tonight !! What will happen tomorrow on WARZONE ??!!

JACKASS JR – I have no clue King, but PCW CEO Kenneth Bruno better get some

LARGE reservations at the local hotels !! WE HAVE A LARGER ROSTER NOW !!! WHO IN THE HECK IS TO BLAME FOR THIS !!! THAT DAMN SPUNKMASTER!!!!

KING ZIO – Hold your tongue JR, we certainly have the cash to pay these

people !! You know Kenneth Bruno has mile-deep pockets !! That boy’s wallet

makes the yellow pages seem as thin as a six-pack on the Full Monti !!

JACKASS JR – Well King, our next match is a rather interesting one which pits

Y2J MoonDoggie against Kurt Angle !! The stipulation is a ladder match which

has a bag of goodies suspended above the ring !! The first man who cannot

answer to a 10-count is the LOSER !!!

( Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen plays )

KING ZIO – Introducing first, the Olympic Hero, Kurt Angle ( Joe Chirichella ) !!!!

The crowd is not fond of this guy JR !! I’m already drenched with every

liquid known to man !! Oh no, not that liquid !!!! THATS REVOLTING !!!

JACKASS JR – Only manufacturer of that beverage could be the human body King

!! Some guy forgot to zip his …

( Last Resort by Papa Roach plays )

JACKASS JR – Now coming to the ring, from the Paradise City, he is Y2J Chris

Jericho !!! You PC residents know him as the MoonDoggie !!

Jericho rushes the ring, and a donnybrook immediately occurs !! Angle ducks a

left, and swings Y2J into an airplane spin, which is then reversed into a

face-buster !! Jericho then climbs the ladder, and splashes Angle from 10

feet above !! Angle shakes it off, and introduces Y2J’s face into the ladder,

and then back-suplexes him !! Angle then climbs the ladder, but is then sent

flying, and crotched on the top rope. Y2J climbs the ladder, and gets the bag

of tricks from above !! He descends, pulls out a stop-sign, and parks Angle

in the middle of the ring !! Jericho then proceeds to hit his signature move,

The Great White Eclipse ( a snap double-arm DDT into a crossface ) . Angle is

seeing stars, and Y2J positions a chair on Angles’s face, puts the ladder on

top, then climbs another ladder !! MoonDoggie then sails from over 20 feet in

the air, with a chair tucked under his right leg, and CONNECTS !!! A chant of

“PCW?PCW” begins, and Angle is counted out for ten !! MoonDoggie

then celebrates, walking thru the crowd, then doing some extreme bodysurfing!!

JACKASS JR – What a move King !! What a match !!!

KING ZIO ? He?s not done either, JR!! Y2J has the mic!!

?You know, I really need to celebrate tonight. But what is a celebration without a few ladies? Let?s see??if I had my pick??I think the ladies of AATLAS would do very nicely. Perhaps I should do a little partying with them, if you know what I mean.?

[?Girls, Girls, Girls? plays as Mr. AATLAS walks out onstage]

?MoonDoggie, you?re really beginning to irritate me. In fact, I think I could live the rest of my life very happily never looking at that ugly mug of yours ever again.?

?Well, well, well. That?s an interesting thought. How about if you get that opportunity??

?Name it.?

?What if you put your own personal harem on the line?against my career.?

?And if I win, you leave the PCW, and I never see you again??

?Oh no, no, no, Dave. You will NEVER??? MoonDoggie points the mic at the crowd.

**EVER!!!!**

??see me again.?

?It?s a deal!! I?ll see you at the Rumble, Y2J!!?

JACKASS JR – Wow King, The Moondoggie’s challenge to Mr. AATLAS stands clear

!! That match I look forward to seeing !!

KING ZIO – Indubitably JR !! The match will happen at the Royal Rumble in

January, which takes place in January at The Pontiac Silverdome !!

JACKASS JR – Well ladies and gentlemen, we have come to the final match of

the evening, which pits Triple H against his old friend The Soprano, for the

PCW World Heavyweight Championship !!

Just then… a blackout occurs, then a single flash appears at the entrance

way,

( Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys plays )

JACKASS JR – King !! Omigod !! Its the Great Franny Menahoony !!! Hes arrived

!!!

KING ZIO – And he didn’t come alone !! Its the hula dancer Miss Sarapin !!!

Franny gets a ringside beach chair and enjoys some cold Bahama Mamas with his

own Bahama Mama.

JACKASS JR – Well, this ain’t Jell-O wrestling folks…

( Nookie by Limp Bizkit plays and pyro explodes everywhere !! )

KING ZIO – Making his way to the ring, accompanied by his wife Stephanie

Galati-Helmsley, he is the Game, he is Triple H ( John Lagrosa ) !!!!

JACKASS JR – Triple H is pumped for this title match King !! Hes waited a

long time, and tonight he has his shot !!!

( Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen plays )

KING ZIO – Listen to this crowd JR !! They’ve waited for this ever since The

Game attacked The Soprano with a sledgehamer back at WrestleFest !!

The 2 lock up, with The Soprano tossing Triple H to the ropes, and Game

ducking a clothesline, and connecting with a flying knee. He then puts the

boots to him, kicking him outside, and Stephanie paint-brushing The Soprano,

adding insult to injury !! The Soprano then re-enters the ring, throws HHH

into the corner, and splashing him, squashing the Game !! Soprano then goes

for a pin, but HHH kicks out. He then sends the former Don Lockwood into the

ropes, with Steph tripping him up, which enables HHH to knock Soprano out of

the ring again !! The Game positions Soprano on the broadcast booth, and

mounting the top-rope, he sails with a flying elbow !! The impact has

everyone destroyed, even JR losing his hat, not to mention the booth has just

been annihilated !! The Great Franny then gets up, and out from the curtain

comes …

JACKASS JR – King !!! That… thats… thats Melissa Connor !! The Great

Franny’s pride and joy !! What purpose does she have here ??!!

Melissa goes to the site where the 2 men are laying, knocked cold. She dumps

a pitcher of ice cold water on The Soprano, who gets up, shocked at who he’s

seeing !! He then looks at Franny, who nods, and covers The Game. 1, 2, 3 !!

Soprano retains the title !! Franny then goes over and wakes up Triple H, who

gets up, and is engaged in silent talk with Franny. They then all get in the

ring, and the crowd awaits what might come out of the house mike.

FRANNY – Are you surprised ??!! Of course you are !! Tonight, PCW has just

witnessed the birth of a new order, one which will dominate this federation

for years to come, fans, I give you, The PC Thesbian Society !!!

( Just then, the Scottish National Anthem hits, and the Spunkmaster and The

Commissioner Jai Patel enter the arena )

SPUNKMASTER – Oh no they didn’t !!!

COMMISH – Oh but they did.

SPUNKMASTER – I don’t think you get it Franny !! This is our

federation, and we run it !! But if you think you are SOOOO great at which

you do…

COMMISH – Oh yea Spunky, the ticket sales for the PC dramas just went sooo

quickly when these 3 had the stage !!

SPUNKMASTER – Simma down now Commish !! I have an idea ; how bout these PC Playas

take on the team of the MoonDoggie, Sting, and a mystery partner tomorrow

night on WARZONE ? Then, they can really put on a show worth watching !! SO

SAYETH THE SPUNKMASTER !!!!!!

JACKASS JR – I can’t believe it King !! What a night !! WE GOTTA GO WE GOTTA

GO !! WERE OUTTA TIME !!! HAVE A GOOD NIGHT FANS !!!