Language Defines Gender Essay, Research Paper

How do men and women communicate clearly

when most of their ways of communicating are so different? In today’s society

language plays a key role in defining gender by phraseology, vocabulary,

and also their nonverbal vocabulary. Each one of these different types

of ways of communicating is prominently different between men and women.

Webster’s defines phraseology as “a choice

and pattern of words.” Many studies have been done on the differences between

men and women’s phraseology. It has been noted in many different studies

that men tend to talk much more than women do. This was proven true in

a study that Lynette Hirshman did in 1974 (Glass 33). It has also been

proven that women tend to speak faster than men; this is due to the fact

that women tend to be interrupted more often than men are, and also have

the ability to speak more clearly, precisely, and more quickly than men

can. In one study it was found that women spoke for an average of three

minutes describing a painting, as opposed to the thirteen-minute average

it took men to describe it. (Glass 33) Women tend to be more detailed when

describing events, persons, places or things. Linguist Robin Lakoff states

in her book, Language and Woman’s Place, women use greater description

when describing colors. (Glass 31) Women notice more detail than men causing

women to be more perceptive; they notice things such as tone of voice,

facial expression, and body language. Being able to pick up on those three

types of communicating helps women better understand what is actually being

said in a conversation.

Men and women’s styles of communicating

are close to being directly opposites of one another. Men tend to be louder

more aggressive speakers; they mumble many of their words and tend to be

sloppy in their pronunciation of words. Men tend to use loudness when emphasizing

words instead of inflection and pitch to emphasize points. According to

Webster’s, inflection is “a change in the tone of the voice,” or “the change

of form in a word to indicate number, case, tense, etc.” (Glass 51) Women

tend to use pitch and inflection more so than men do. Men have a tendency

to speak in a lower tone and rarely change from that tone to any others.

Women on the other hand speak in five different tones, which makes them

sound more emotional. (Glass 50) Women also speak more fluidly, which makes

them easier to listen to, where men use choppier more fragmented sentences.

Women are more soft spoken than men are, which allows men to monopolize

most conversations. (Glass 51) Men are much less verbose and they are more

direct in getting their point across. Women tend to “beat around the bush”

when getting a point across; this causes men to become very agitated while

listening to a woman tell a story. Men talk much slower than women do and

are more silent during conversational lulls. (Glass 52) Men also have a

tendency to make more direct accusations and statements. (Glass 51) Men

also answer questions with declaration, (”It’s two o’clock.”), where as

women answer with a question. Men are more commanding in their style of

speech, however women ask for things to be done in a more polite manner

and usually in terms of endearment, (”Honey, would you please…”). (Glass

53) Men also make more declarative statements, instead women tend to make

more tentative statements and use ” tag endings”. (Glass 53) Women would

say, “Would you like to go to the beach today, but we don’t have to.” A

man on the other hand would say, “We’re goin’ to the beach today.” This

sentence also shows that men have poor grammar, as opposed to women generally

have good grammar. (Glass 53) Men also use one-word answers, rarely use

conjunctions, and hardly ever use adjectives of adoration. Women tend to

have lengthy responses, long sentences that are adjoined with words like

“and”, “but”, “however”, etc., and always use adjectives of adoration such

as “cute”, “adorable”, and “sweet”, etc. Men use more foul language, slang,

and make simpler, more understandable requests, but women do all of these

things exactly the opposite. Men, as most people know, lecture and have

use more of a monologue, where as women have more of a give-and-take dialogue.

(Glass 55)

Men and women also tend to have a very

different nonverbal way of communicating, which can also make it very hard

for one another to understand what the opposite sex is trying to say. Men’s

body language is much more reserved when talking to women. Men tend to

not make as much eye contact; they generally stay farther away from women

when talking to them. Men avoid other peoples body space while talking,

they also tend to recline or sit back when talking, and they are much more

fidgety while listening to someone else. These traits that men have give

off the impression of disinterest or boredom. Women are completely the

opposite, which gives others the feeling that the female listener is much

more interested in what the speaker has to say. Women rarely interrupt

someone while speaking, but as for men they interrupt the speaker quite

frequently. Men rarely pick up on others nonverbal cues. Men give off false

cues of their own or are not as consistent with the nonverbal cues they

try to give off. (Glass 46) Men, even when interested tend to frown and

squint while listening which gives off a feeling of disinterest, where

as women smile and nod as if they are paying attention to every word that

is being said to them. (Glass 49)

It is true men and women are quite different

in their ways of communicating. Men are definitely much harder to understand

in all of their styles of communication. From mumbling to short snappy

answers and poor eye contact to constant interruptions, makes communicating

with men much more difficult than anticipated by most. Women are by far

better listeners and much more enjoyable to talk with. Women give off the

impression they are interested in what is being said to them, maintain

good eye contact, and speak with more inflection and in nice soft tones.

They are more descriptive in their explanations, their sentences flow together

smoothly, and they tend to raise more topics for conversation. Women also

make it more clear whether or not the conversation is going somewhere or

just stuck in neutral. After learning about our styles of communicating

with each other, I have decided that although men have not quite mastered

communicating, what fun would it be if we all spoke the same “language”.

The little games men and women play with each other while conversing would

be lost. The question everyone asks himself or herself after talking with

someone of the opposite sex, ” I wonder if there’s something there?” would

cease to exist.