Jealousy Behind Love Essay, Research Paper

James chong

?Personal Statement?

549-85-3841

Jealousy Behind Love

Having all the things of this world would be the happiest thing that could ever happen. I will be content if I had everything I wanted. ?Stop dreaming this is reality, man, wake up!? This is what I tell myself whenever I fantasize about things I want that I can?t have or when I see anyone with a talent I want but don?t have. I get pretty pissed off because I cannot be like him or her. I work at the talents I don?t have but cannot seem to be as good as the students that are naturally gifted. I am a jealous and selfish guy that wants everything and sometimes to the point where I am jealous of my own family, not particularly my family but my twin brothers. I was jealous of many things but unlike many of my jealousies, I had this strong jealousy inside of my brothers that was different and one that stuck to me for a long time.

I was jealous of my brothers ever since the time I could remember. From the first days of my brothers? existence, which was almost exactly nine months after I came into the world, to the very present. I had this strong jealousy inside of my brothers that I have reached a point where I actually hated them. In the beginning I was just jealous of my brothers because they had more attention from my mom than I did but as I got older I got to be jealous for many more reasons.

For example, this one time when I was 7 years old and my brothers were 6. We all went to the park to play on the playground and this newly wed couple walked by and said how cute my brothers look and how adorable they are and etc. I was there with them but they didn?t even bother to look at me. I was envious of my brothers because they were twins and even more so because the fact that they were identical. As a little guy I wanted a lot of things but one thing that I wanted more than anything was someone to look just like me.

As the years have gone by I started to overcome the jealousy I had for my brothers because as a Christian I was taught not to be jealous of my own brothers but instead be glad and be happy for them. Not just because I was a Christian but, because they are my brothers. I tried to put the twin issue behind me but I just couldn?t. I was still jealous of my brothers because of the fact that they were twins. As my brothers and I grew up together I noticed that no matter what we did my twin brothers would always be together and would always include each other in everything they did. I have learned that the saying that goes ?twos fun and three is a crowd? to be so true because I?ve experienced being the third guy. Being the third guy I felt left out and felt like I was the guy that crowded their fun so I would find myself playing alone or when I was mad, picking on my brothers for fun.

William Chong

?Personal Statement?

549-85-3841

I was the always alone and by myself, or as I would say ?the loner.? Whenever we went to a theme park and we went on rides they would match up and ride together but I would be the guy that sits by myself. Once in a while I felt so left out that I actually tried to get in on the fun by picking on my brothers and ruin their fun. As my brothers and I grew up, we got into many verbal and physical fights. Most of the fights were caused by me basically because I was jealous of them having so fun with each other and because of the fact that I couldn?t have the same amount of fun they did. I was jealous of the fact that no matter the situation they were in they would always stick up for one another and by each other. Whenever I would get into an argument with one of my twin brothers, the other twin would stick up for his identical twin brother. I wanted to be just like my twin brothers, never fighting with each other and just sharing everything together like how true brotherly relationships are suppose to be.

As the years have past and as I have matured more, I got to realize that even though I was mean to my brothers, they really cared for me and looked up to me because I was their brother. They might not have told me this in words but I know that they did because it showed. I have decided that whenever they want to include me in their fun they will ask me and whenever they are in need of my help in the future they will. As the oldest I have responsibilities to look out for my brothers even though at times they might make me made and jealous of them. Also, as the oldest of the three I have responsibilities to set examples for my brothers to follow. In order for them to walk in the right path I should set good examples and show them through my actions so they can see and follow. Along the way I learned and picked up some good pointers from my brothers as well. This just proves that just because a person is older that doesn?t necessarily mean they are smarter. I have finally got over my jealousy of my brothers and all it took was my brothers? actions toward how much they cared for me and the fact it took 17 years for me to realize that. No matter what happens those two will be my brothers and my brothers for life. One fact I know for sure that will never change is the love we share together. Just like I have overcome my jealousy of my brothers, even though it took a long time, I?m going to overcome any obstacle that the world throws at me on my own so that my brothers could have something good to look up to and follow.