Love-Hate Comparison Essay, Research Paper

THEY LOVE ME, THEY LOVE ME NOT

Growing up, I had a best friend named Susie. We shared everything. She knew

my every thought, dream and fear. I always saved her a seat on the bus. When

we became teenagers we double dated. We were each other’s counselor,

confidant, and sometimes even a shoulder to cry on. I loved her very much

and could not imagine not being her friend, until she betrayed me. I

discovered that she had been seeing my boyfriend behind my back. After

learning of her deceit I hated her so much that just the sight of her

literally turned my stomach. Often it is difficult to distinguish if the

actions of others originate from love or hate. There are many variables in

deciding whether someone acted out of love or hate. It is important to learn

to distinguish between love and hate.

As children, our parents punish us for doing wrong, not because they hate us,

but rather that they love us and want us to grow up to be well mannered,

likeable people. At the time they were disciplining us, we could not

understand how they could use a phrase such as “This hurts me more than it

does you.” When we reach adulthood it is much easier to see how it could

hurt them to have to be strict. God loved Adam and Eve because they were his

children, even though they had sinned by eating the fruit from the tree of

knowledge of good and evil. He hated that they had not listened to his

instructions. As much as he loved them, he had to punish them for

disobedience in order to teach them that he had their best interests in mind.

Our parents made decisions for us because they love us. Decisions based on

love are for the benefit of the loved one, while decisions based on hate are

for the one who hates benefit or selfish desire. Decisions driven by hate

are often made to cause another person to suffer or to exact revenge. Loving

decisions are to relieve the pain or the hurt being suffered by someone other

than oneself.

While God’s love is pure and unwavering, human love can be healthy or

unhealthy. True love is generally healthy, while true hate is very

unhealthy. A love-hate relationship flip-flops between the two emotions. In

a love-hate relationship the people involved can go from seemingly hating the

other person to loving them immensely, almost immediately. Some people might

argue that this is an unhealthy style of relationship; however, as long as

the hate is only a fleeting feeling, the love-hate relationship can be a

healthy one. People in this type of relationship are usually more open about

their dislikes, being able to vent their disdain for a particular action or

statement by the other person. By the same token, they quickly remember

their love for their significant other. They are able to express their love

as freely as they express their hate. This free expression of emotions

prevents feelings from being suppressed and ultimately makes for a very open

and honest relationship. Real hatred; however, is extremely unhealthy. One

must have the capacity to forgive or life most certainly would be miserable.

By having the ability to forgive, one is able to survive without being

overcome by hate. While one would be very upset if someone ran over a family

pet, he/she should be able to forgive the person who committed the act. In

some cases, forgiveness is difficult. For instance, a murder victim’s family

might find it terribly hard to forgive the murderer of their loved one.

Hate of this nature is perfectly normal, but for true healing to be achieved,

forgiveness is mandatory.

Throughout history people have been murdered for their strong beliefs in

their gods and religions. Religious people often state that they love

everyone; however, there are countless stories of massacres and wars

originating from outspokenness about opposing religious views. This

prejudice has been affecting mankind since the beginning of time. Religious

prejudice is only one of many prejudices. Prejudices are disguised as love

for one’s own kind but are really a form of hatred for anyone who is

different than them. The most common prejudices are racial, religious,

gender, and sexual orientation prejudice. While racial prejudice seems to be

on the decline in recent years, the problem of prejudice over sexual

orientation seems to be increasing. In the past few years there have been

many incidents where people were murdered because they were, or were believed

to be, homosexual. These senseless murders and acts of prejudice have even

affected the armed forces. Prejudice should be love for one’s own kind,

mankind.

When I first picked my topic I thought there would be many more differences

between love and hate. After further thought I realized that they much more

similar than they at first appear to be. It has made me contemplate the

fact that that there is a very precarious balance between love and hate.

Love is often perceived as hate and hate perceived as love. The most

significant difference that I found between the two was their definitions.

According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, love is an extreme affection for and

hate is an extreme aversion to. These emotions are exact opposites-or are

they?