Lost In Time Essay, Research Paper

Why Can’t I Just Be Like Everyone Else?

final draft

Portuguese parents today tend to be stricter on their daughters

than most other cultures. I myself am a one hundred percent Portuguese female brought up by

traditional parents and therefore can relate to this statement. Why is it that we are treated

differently? Should our culture have anything to do with how we are raised in today’s society?

I speak on my behalf and realize that as I become older my

parents seemed to become alot stricter than my friend’s parents. (non-Portuguese) Why is this?

I am honestly not sure, but I know it has something to do with how my parents were brought

up. I see this everyday in the way that my grandmother treats my mother. “Avo”, or

grandmother, as we say in Portuguese is very old-fashioned and traditional. Mom carries these

old customs to the way she raises me. I feel that this accounts for the fact that we cannot get

along.

I am now eighteen years of age and considered a legal adult. I

should be handed more responsibility and trust. For example, my parents do not allow me to

sleep out unless it is a family member’s house. “Mom, can I sleep over Taylor’s house tonight.”

Out of the question. I wouldn’t dare ask. I’d only get rejected. It didn’t matter how much I

begged or what I promised there was no way I was getting away with it. “Why do you want to

sleep over, so you can stay out past your curfew?” Any excuse in the book you could come up

with my mom had already memorized. To this day she hasn’t given me a reason for this, but then

again I’m sure she doesn’t have a valid one. However, there hasn’t been a fight that my mom has

put up that I can’t argue about and win.

One of the biggest battles today between Portuguese parents

and their daughters are curfews. Why is it that we have to be home before the sun goes down?

I know that just last year, at the age of seventeen, my parents wanted me home at 11:00 p.m. I

think I must have fought about this curfew everytime I went out. All of my friends who were of

mixed cultures that time had curfews of 12:00 a.m. or later. I thought this was so unfair and

often did not even want to go out with my friends because we always had to leave wherever we

were to drop me off early.

Another difference I have always had that distinguishes me from

my friends is the issue of boyfriends. I was never allowed to go out with guys or date anyone

until I turned eighteen. My closest friends were bringing guys home to meet their parents at the

age of sixteen. I never really complained about this however because I knew most guys meant

trouble. I didn’t just assume this; I could see it with my friends. If I was to go out with a guy it

would have to be a respectable Portuguese male.

As I grew older, even pagers and cell phones were inaccessible

to me. My mother’s famous words were,” What are you some type of drug dealer.” I was not

allowed to have either until I received my license and I had a car. My grandmother viewed this

new technology as an easier way for bad people to keep in close contact with eachother. This

had influence on my mother and she wouldn’t allow me to purchase them.

“Choose your friends wisely.” How could I choose my friends

when my parents did it for me? I wasn’t allowed to hang around with certain people because

other people might think I was like them. Who could I hang around with you might ask. Well, if

you narrow it down to the selected few they seem to fit in one category- FAMILY! I agree it

was pathetic. My friends were utter losers who thought walking their dogs was a fun passtime. I

spent most of my time at home or on the phone with real friends.

Hobbies seemed to also bring up alot of family discussions. As

we discussed in class, girls played with Barbies and boys played with action figures. As I grew

up, I was captain of the basketball and volleyball team, I lifted weights, took kickboxing, raced

go-carts and dirtbikes, and drove a fast car. All to my mother’s dissapproval. I had to be the

perfect girl. There was always something I just wasn’t doing right. I led a life of stress and

competition; always striving to be the best.

I blame everything on tradition. Why I couldn’t stay out, why I

couldn’t have a boyfriend, and why I shouldn’t ride dirtbikes. I think Portuguese parents should

raise their children today according to what is going on presently and not how they were raised

in Portugal thirty to forty years ago. It is truly important to keep up with the times and live

accordingly to today’s society but with your own good judgement. Let your child lead a normal

life with all the advantages everyone around them has. Why should we be any different because

we are Portuguese. This gives people the right to stereotype us Portuguese girls. I know that

when I say I am Portuguese I don’t want to hear,”Oh, you must have strict parents.” Why can’t

we just be treated like everyone else? The answer to this question is that tradition doesn’t allow

us to.