Children And Their Parents Essay, Research Paper

The transition from childhood to adulthood is a journey undergone by all, but

all in a different way. While some people believe that the maturation process is

a time for one to develop one’s individuality and uniqueness from one’s parental

figures, others believe that growing up is a fine-tuning of beliefs, morals and

ideology passed down from generation to generation. The old saying "A chip

of the old block" in most cases applies to every human, regardless of how

different one may seem from one’s parents. Qualities are inherited that cannot

be suppressed and will always prevail despite how much one may want to differ

form one’s parents. While protruding into this topic, valuable issues must be

discussed; moral ideology, lifestyles, social influences, and physical

attributes are all factors in the distinction between a child and his/her

parents. Morals are one of the key ingredients in raising a child. These

thoughts are passed from the parent to the youngster from birth and possibly

even as far as death. Parents are always helping the development of morals

weather intentional or through actions displayed by the parent. Although a

parent may not even realize that morals are being taught, the idea of

"good" and "bad" are presented even in the act of

disciplining a child. Kids grow up learning how to handle situations from past

experiences and the lessons that have been attained. Perhaps a simple example of

this rational is the lesson of truth. When a child lies to his/her mother, the

mother reprimands the child and disciplinary action may be taken. If

appropriately used, the punishment will teach the child that it is unacceptable

to lie. As time progresses, the child will usually develop an understanding to

tell the truth. This is important in comparing a child from a parent because if

the parent never learned that it is inappropriate to lie, then the child will

most likely understand the importance of truth because truth was not a moral

prevalent in the child’s upbringing. Although parents most often teach

commendable lessons, negative morals can also be developed in a person due to

actions taken by the parent in the past. For example, it is a possibility that a

parent is always pushing a child to attend church. When the child loathes

attending services and tries at all costs to avoid them, a resistance to

religion can be formed. The child can develop excuses as to why attending church

is pointless and begin to believe these reasons. Further down in life a complete

opposition to religion could possibly be established based on the roots of a

boring mass. Now the parent whose morals are set in organized religion has a

child who has drifted away from religion and entirely new ideas are developed in

his/her mind. Morals play an important part in comparing and contrasting the

similarities between a parent and a child. The presence of morals usually is

passed down to the child, however sometimes the moral ideology presents itself

in a completely different manner that proposes opposition between parents and

children. While morals are very relevant to the discussion of behavioral

similarities and differences between parents and children, lifestyles and the

reasons behind a chosen lifestyle is also a prevalent topic in the discussion.

Some people tend to choose a similar path that their parents have chosen, while

others choose to break away and take a completely alternate route. The way one

lives depends largely upon his/her personality and motivation, which in turn, is

greatly effected by the parents. If one is brought up in an environment that is

very neat and tidy, most likely that person will follow the habits of growing up

in that manner and will continue to keep things orderly. The effect can be best

described in terms of the word imitation. Because the child is so used to doing

things a certain way, when the absence of the parent arises, the habits are

carried over. Usually this process goes either one of two ways: the child either

mimics the parent’s habits or the child develops a resistance. Typically when

youths reach college, they are so tired of doing things the right way that a

form of rebellion occurs. The whole lifestyle is rearranged now that the

parental figure is missing, and things are free to go as they please. This

typically happens when one is forced to do something against one’s will. This

occurrence is very similar to the changing of morals due to a disliked aspect of

life. Another example of this is displayed in Alice Walker’s "Everyday

Use." In this story, Dee, one of the daughters, leaves home due to her

strong-willed ways (exactly like her mother.) Dee leaves the home for city life,

a completely different lifestyle, and returns with the same hard-headedness.

However, she now leads a life entirely opposite to that which she was raised in.

Dee’s new name, Wangero, is possibly a sign of rebellion from her mother. The

two are so much alike that they are torn apart because they both stand up for

what they want, regardless of the reasons that they hold. The path in life that

one chooses is most definitely caused by the way one is raised, weather or not

the path is similar is dependent upon many aspects of growing up. Although

"Everyday Use" presents the suggestion of changing lifestyles in the

ascertation of similarities and differences between a mother and a daughter, the

story also shows how the changing of society can cause parents and children to

resemble or differ from one another. Part of the reason that Dee went through

such an extravagant change was because society was also going through changes.

When generations develop new ideas and trends also develop, such as in Dee’s

case of trying to stay up to date in what was going on in her environment,

children begin to differ from their parents. While this makes parents and

children different in the sense that their likes and dislikes are not the same,

it also makes them similar because every generation is prone to societies

influences. For the most part, younger generations participate in the changing

of the times and this does cause differences in attitudes between children and

parents. There are some cases, however, where because a child does not

participate in the evolution of society the child is very similar to the parent

in one aspect while a sense of individualism is never achieved. In William

Faulkner’s "A Rose for Emily," Miss Emily is stuck in a society that

was present when her father was still alive. Miss Emily’s immaturity to face

real issues drive her to insanity because she never fully develops her own self

and her own personal strengths. She does not face society after her father’s

death because she never really adapts to society in the first place. While her

father was alive, Miss Emily led a somewhat normal life, however she never fully

adapted to social interaction, therefore, when her father died, she was unable

to handle life in a society. While Miss Emily is very proud of her father and

family heritage, just like her father was, she is also very unstable because she

lacks her own identity. This is a rather extreme example of how social

interaction within a culture can distinguish between the similarities and

differences between parents and children, however it is a beneficial example in

proving how people develop due to their upbringing and society’s impact upon

one’s lifestyle. Aside from the way a child is raised and the presence of

parental supervision in one’s life, there are more obvious factors that allow

for similarities in a child and his/her parents. There are certain mental

conditions that force a child to act in a similar manner to his/her parents.

Some aspects of one’s personality are passed down and are usually surfaced in

one’s character. A simple example of this is alcoholism. It is a theory of many

people that alcoholism is a genetic inheritance. Therefore, if one is a child of

an alcoholic, one is prone to become an alcoholic following in the footsteps of

the parent. There are also mental disabilities that are thought of as

genetically inherited such as ADHD and Turret’s syndrome. These mental disorders

are yet another example of how one can unintentionally mimic some behavioral

patters of one’s parents. Some people think that children can grow old and never

contain any similarities as the parents. I, however, feel as though the parents

play an important role in the development of a child. Children learn from their

parents, therefore actions, attitudes, and feelings are grown surrounded by the

already-learned lessons of the adults. Aside from the morals, lifestyles, and

social influences, children are a part of their parents. Character traits must

be passed down and similar ways are learnt. The old saying "The apple

doesn’t fall far from the tree" is definitely a statement that should be

taken with some true consideration.