Kramer Vs Kramer -Divorce Essay, Research Paper

Divorce is Not a Bad Thing After All

Today the divorce figure is over one million separations, but its rate is not high as it was in the mid-seventies to mid-eighties. Nowadays, one might agree that men are much more considerate about their wife s feelings and opinions, rather than demanding and treat them as a birth machine like they used to. Plus, the communications between the spouses is much better than it was in the seventies. The women are becoming more independent and decisive, as Joanna Kramer from Kramer Vs. Kramer by Avery Corman and Phyllis Landau in Taking Sides by Norma Klein. These women are in different situations, but shared a common goal; they are both searching for their identity. Joanna felt trapped in her marriage and decided to divorce and gives Ted Kramer the custody of -Billy Kramer. After they are divorced, Ted Kramer- Billy s father has been taking over the roles of both Father as well as a Mother. Where as in Taking Sides, both Phyllis and Jake Landau mutually agreed upon the divorce, and the two kids, Nell and Hugo, are living with their father in New York. Later on, they move back to live with their mother in New Jersey due to their father s heart attack. When it comes to being a parent, some might agreed that a woman is better at taking care and providing comfort to the child than the man is. However, there is no fact stating that the man cannot be as good of parent as a woman, therefore, a man is as capable of being a good parent as a woman is. Children do not need to live with both parents in order to have a comfortable and happy home, because what is the purpose of living together if he/she will cause more problems toward to his/her children. And sometime it s better that the parents are living separately.

The wives in Kramer Vs. Kramer and Taking Sides are very much alike, they are self-reliant. Thus when they were married, and they were not able to have a career of their choice; instead, they became housewives as soon as they stepped into matrimony. For that reason, they felt

trapped, as time goes by, they also felt isolated in their relationship. Under the mental anguish of an onerous marriage (Corman 204) with a husband who is a workaholic and does not listen to her, Joanna is determined to leave him. But, she thinks she is unfit, mentally, financially as well as emotionally, so she left Billy with Ted. After being absent for eighteen months of absent of Billy s life, she suddenly showed up and asked for the custody of the child. Through many therapy sessions, making restorations to [her] physical and emotional well-being (Corman 204) she realized that she is capable of taking care of Billy, and it was a mistake of leaving him behind does not make her a bad mother. When she was taking care of Billy, Joanna has lots of patience with him, she cared about him and she was very organized. She was a good mother and still is, only if she is given a second chance to prove it. The court must have thought so too, because she was granted the custody of Billy. While Phyllis Landau s problem is less dramatic as Joanna, but like Joanna s, Phyllis also feels caged in her marriage. She and her husband were divorced once, remarried and now divorce again. She is capable of taking care for the children financially as well as emotionally. Even though they are living with their father, but all those vacation that they had with her. The reader can see that their relationship is good, especially with Hugo, her little son. Example when they returned to New York from their vacation, Hugo was very happy, but as soon as he learned that his mom is not coming to live with them, he was extremely upset and cried for hours. Nevertheless, he soon get use to the fact that he and his sister, Nell, are living with their only dad permanently, and hedoes not mind so much.

In our society, one tends to see more of Mother and children s relationship, rather than Father and children s relationship, it s all because one rarely gives the man a chance to learn how to become a good father. However, in Kramer Vs. Kramer, Ted Kramer had the opportunity to prove that a man can be as great in taking care of a child as a woman. He was lucky to find the bond between him and his son when Joanna left. He was inexperienced at first, and his patience was running short. Nonetheless, he invested many hours to spend with Billy. And now, his priority is to become a good father. He missed meetings and all the social events that happened in his life and at his workplace. When Billy was sick, Ted decided to stay home and took care of his son. As a result, he missed an important deadline that caused the company to lose a great deal of money. Ted reads to Billy, he bathes him, he play(s) with him, [and] he loves him (Corman 225). They had a great deal of fun together, and the boy adore[d] him, said Sandy, Ted s sister-in-law. All this has shown that Ted is a great father. Although he s a man, he can still take traditionally the role of a woman, taking care of a child. In Taking Sides, Nell, the oldest child, adores her father. After the second divorce of her parents, she and her younger brother had to go live with their dad. (Thus, one can see that not only the women that always have the custody of the kids, and that men can sacrifice their own personal and social life for their children, and they are more than capable of providing a good and healthy home with out a wife or mother in the picture. Nell liked Daddy best, better than Mom (Klein 11). Hence, we can see that it s not always the Mother that a child prefers. To conclude, if a man is given a chance he can create a home that makes the children happy.

Children are the people that are affected the most during their parents divorce. They sometime think that it s their fault that their parents split up. Ted Kramer has been a good parent by giving a firm explanation about the divorce and the reasons necessary for them to break up to Billy. When a child was at a young age; it is true that he [or she] needs the special care, the nurturing that only a mother can provide (Corman 204). However, that does not mean that the child cannot be well raised by the father. Billy was at a young age when his parents were divorced; he does not comprehend the why. The fact that if Joanna tried to talk to Ted about their problem, and hoped that they could work it out, Ted wouldn t listen. They would argued and created a tense and unhealthy atmosphere for Billy. As for in Taking Sides, the parents agreed that they still love each other, but they cannot live together. They are too different, Phyllis was a free spirits person, while Jake, Nell s father, was very organize and rational. Therefore, whenever they were in each other s present, they bickered constantly about anything topic that came to mind. The children in the two novels were very well behaved; they were not terribly upset by the divorce. Like some other kids that cannot handle the stressful divorce of their parents and tries to reconcile them or even runaway from home.

In conclusion, divorce is not a bad thing after all, if the parents cannot work together to create a healthy environment for the kids, then they should try to find new methods. Even if they have to get a divorce, but at least they can communicate better with each other, to provide the best resolution to for the children. Usually having one parent, and the parent is content with his or her life, knowing how to provide the emotional, physical, and possibly the financial needs of the children then the child s welfare is in good hands. Some time though, that parent might face the fact that the kids miss the other parent so much or they want to live with them. It is difficult decision to make, but any responsible parent will know how to solve that problem. It is hard for the children to grasp the concept of their parent s divorce, but they can learn to live happily if the parent provides a loving, caring and understanding environment.