Childhood Memories Essay, Research Paper

Finally, 5:00 out of work! I start towards my car and I think about finally getting home. I

can?t wait to get in the cool air conditioning and away from all my annoying co-workers.

I open my car door, jump in, turn on my music full blast, and start driving away. I

decided take a different way then usual because it was rush hour. My favorite song comes

on the radio and I begin to sing. All of a sudden I stop, a car keeps whizzing in and out

of all the cars in front of me. Out loud to myself, I say, ?What an idiot.? Then the car

streams across two lanes of oncoming traffic, hits the curb, and flips. Wow!!! I didn?t

even think to stop. Shaking, I just kept driving. Then my childhood memories just flashed

through my mind. I was thinking about how I use to perceive things in my head a while

ago. I thought about how pain and suffering use to scare me to death.

I continued to drive, and I let go of the steering wheel with one hand for a second.

I started to feel my neck. I felt two scares and I remembered when I was a baby with a

chin the size of a football. My mom and doctors called it a tumor, but I didn?t understand

then. I just wanted people to stop starring at me. I finally had surgery and it was a

success. After a year or so my chin was normal and I began to be a kid again. I then

started to hang out with all the guys in my neighborhood. All the tough guys I might add.

They all thought they were unbreakable. I feared for all of them, I never wanted people to

stare at me for something, I never wanted to be in pain, and I never wanted people to see

people suffer.

I remember playing sports all he time. I feared I would get hurt, but I just played

anyway. My soccer game ended one day and the field next to me my friend, Anthony,

was playing. I walked over to watch. That?s when I saw him get the ball, dribble a little,

and a kid slide tackle him. That was the first time I saw a leg bend the way it did. I

remember Anthony laying in the middle of the field, grasping his leg, and tears streaming

down his face. I couldn?t believe what I just saw. The pain in his eyes struck me and I

never wanted to be in his position. Parents surrounded him and soon all I could see was a

crowd. Months afterward he was home ridden and that summer wasn?t the same without

him.

Another incident poped into my mind. My two brothers and I always had a

baby-sitter in the summer. This summer was with a girl named Philis. She was nice,

quite, and didn?t do much; thus, my brothers and I wound up occupying ourselves. We

started to have a checker tournament when my brother, Jonathan decided to take a

shower before he played. I sat in my bedroom and waited for him. Finally, he came out.

While I was waiting for him to get dressed, loudly he yelled, ? I think I need stitches, I

stepped on glass.? I jumped up and ran out my room. I notice my brother laying there

with his foot warped in a towel. My whole second floor was covered in blood. I watched

as he slowly began to unwrap the bloody towel and that?s when I saw two huge gashes in

the bottom of his foot. I actually witnessed as his muscles in his foot moved back and

forth as he wiggled his toes. Well, off he went to the hospital with Philis as me and my

oldest brother Jim cleaned the house of blood. I was so frightened and my brother had to

calm me down. Years afterwards he still complained about pain in his foot and I couldn?t

take it. I finally had to tell him to lie to me and tell me that it was fine.

As I grew I kept thinking about avoiding pain. Then my grandfather was

diagnosed with cancer. I don?t really remember the details of is sickness, but I remember

always going to visit him. I could never get out of my head his pale white face in the

hospital bed. I always went to see him and he always asked how I was. I always

wondered why he said that, because I was always okay. I didn?t even have the guts to ask

how he was. He could tell me anyway that he was sick, real sick and I could definitely

read the pain on his face. Not only was it the pain of his illness, but the pain of leaving

our family. It hurt us all when he did die and I remember crying and crying in my bed.

Then a cycle of deaths went on in my family. Next my great grandma, then my Aunt, and

the my Uncle. It was a traumatizing time in my family. I was feed up with seeing people

suffer, it was killing me inside. I hated to see relatives wanting to die and then finally

accomplishing what they had wished for.

I broke away from the memories for a second and pulled into my driveway.

Sitting in the car I looked into my side view mirror, and tears surrounded my eyes. I

smiled and shrugged them off. That tiny child that I once was was still inside me. My

pain finally did come back to me around my sweet sixteen when I hurt my knee real bad,

but that is the last thing I truly recall. I thought about how much I worried as a kid and

how I grew out of the stage . Of course I am afraid of dying, of course I am afraid of pain,

and of course I am afraid of what the world has to offer but right now I am not going to

think about it. I have to worry about what is now, what is today. Like, what am I having

foe dinner tonight?