Sex Essay, Research Paper

Humans are sexual beings. We want it. We all need sex. It is an important part of us. Sex can be simply a pleasurable act, yet it can also be an expression of our love for someone else. In short, sex is wonderful. However, it is relatively rare to encounter a rational discussion about sex, even between partners. As with all activities about which people are passionate and which involve biological drives, the topic of sexuality is rife with controversy, misunderstanding, moralizing, and stereotypes. It is my belief that the widespread availability of information about sexual matters help facilitate better communication in relationships. Progress can never be made in human affairs by the suppression or repression of information, or by spreading disinformation. In essence, sexuality should be celebrated to improve our sexual health and happiness.

In today’s society, where sex is unfortunately too often viewed as “the nasty,” I would not necessarily call the act of having sex taboo because people are beginning to realize more about who we are and what we need. This is not to say that we are considering sex to be a cool thing now, but our attitudes are a lot better than they used to be. Still, we Americans have much to improve on our views and acceptance of sex. A non-virgin today is often looked down upon in the younger age groups (high-school and under). Teenagers label them with harsh vocabulary such as “whores”, “skanks”, “sluts”, and “players.” In the older age groups, sex is more “the thing to do”. If you have a long-term girlfriend or boyfriend, wife or husband, it is expected that you are having a sexual relationship. We are more comfortable with admitting that we are sexually active when we are older. However, knowing that certain individuals are having sex and talking about it often elicits an “eiuwwww.” Are most people comfortable with telling their friends whether or not they are having sex? For most people, I believe not. There is much room for improvement in the ways we handle sex and its importance in our lives. I am not saying that we should invade other people’s privacy or blatantly share intimate details of our sex lives, but that we should not feel embarrassed or guilty for having sex and enjoying ourselves.

The United States is probably one of the more uptight countries about sex. For example, in Europe, parents often condone their teenaged children having sex. One of my good friends is from Hungary, and while he was going out with his girlfriend, he was asked by her parents if he wanted condoms. Now in America, this is unheard of – a parent asking the daughter’s boyfriend whether or not he needed condoms for the night. The Hungarian parents’ behavior may shock you, as it shocked me, but that’s only because we’ve never been exposed to an environment regarding sex like the one in Europe.

Fortunately, throughout the past five years, I can see America slowly changing for the better. There used to be this intangible barrier people never crossed when talking about sex. One was never to ask about who was having sex with who and what “else” they were doing. It was either assumed or unnecessary to be known. Even parents had difficulty talking to their children about sex education and protection against sexually transmitted diseases. However, through advertising, the movies, and the Internet, I believe we are growing more aware of our sexual nature and beginning to accept our sexual desires. The media is paving the new path of sexual liberation for the average American to follow.

Advertising is one factor changing how people view sex today. For example, I find that models for clothing companies are exposing more flesh in their advertisements. Men are usually topless (with big muscular bodies) and their pants are rather tight, almost outlining the figure of the penis. Women are wearing skimpier clothing that expose most of their chest and legs. Through catalogs, mannequins, posters, and models on the runway, we can see that it is becoming more acceptable to expose as much as you can.

The showing of a penis has become less taboo then it used to be. In the movie “Any Given Sunday”, when Cameron Diaz walks into the men’s locker room, several naked men stand right in front of her talking to the camera. When I was in the movie theater watching this film, the audience gasped at the sight of a penis. The crowd responded as they did only because they had not been used to seeing the male sexual organ on the screen. But given time, when films show the penis more often, we will become accustomed to it. Movies and other forms of media are beginning to expose the male genitals just as much as we currently see the female genitals and breasts on the large screen.

To further prove my observations, I went on to my web-browser and typed the word “sex” on a search engine. To my surprise, I found a great deal of information on the topic. There was an innumerable amount of links to sex shops, sex forums, improving sex-health programs, sexology, etc. Everything imagined possible was there, and more! Unable to find information about America’s view on sex and how it evolved over the past 100 years, through the plethora of web-sites dedicated to sexual freedom and knowledge, I was convinced that America’s acceptance on sex has been changing.

The Internet is an excellent tool for the average individual to express his or her sexual desires. It provides a mask for the person who wishes to post secret fantasies, bizarre fetishes, and sexual experiences on web-sites and chat-rooms without revealing the identity of that person. This ability to say and do what you want is allowing the common person to voice suppressed feelings and shows that we are coming out of our holes to express our sexuality. Never before had it been so easy for someone to do this. It was always “wrong” for an individual to say what he or she truly felt about something without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. I was shocked to find the abundance of links about sexual literature written by Americans. One specific site, www.thenerve.com, really intrigued me. It had a “picture of the week” (this week’s best picture was of a black man holding his penis through his boxers), forums, and sex stories. The web-site also mentioned that “The Nerve” just released its second issue on the magazine stand! I strongly suggest you check this site out and pick up a copy of their magazine. It’s completely different from what you would expect. It’s hip and it’s voicing its opinion on sex loud and clear to our society. So let’s listen up! What also caught my eye was a quotation on the bottom of the page. It read: “Flirting will never be the same. ” In other words, by reading their material, the magazine suggests that we will become educated on how to flirt better, which will have sexual consequences.

Another aspect of the Internet that clearly portrays the growing interest and acceptance of sex is the Cybersex world. People seek out sexually explicit web-sites for many different purposes. Some want to experiment and explore sexual sides of themselves that they would never dare to explore off-line. They may try on opposite gender identities, explore homosexual questionings, flirt, or even fall in love. Others are seeking a release for tension, an escape from the difficulties of their lives, or ways to enhance their sexual knowledge. And yes, cybersex can also add some spice to a couple’s sex life. For instance, they can learn about ways to expand their sexual repertoire, or become less inhibited, or engage in “virtual” experimentation as a means of “test-driving” before trying things in the 3-D world. Cybersex has added a totally new dimension to our understanding of the importance of sex in our lives. It is helping many Americans learn more about their sexual nature and about themselves.

We Americans need to be more open about sex. After all, to deny our own sexual impulses is to deny our very nature. I am glad that there have been many improvements within the past five years, but we are nowhere close to hearing an American adult say to a teenager, “Would you like a condom?” In fact, we are far from it. The first thing I believe that we should do is to be frank about sexuality between parents and teenaged children. Speaking on behalf of young Americans, I know that we are naive and curious young adults, anxious to find out what sex is like. Parents should not be telling us what to do and what not to do. This is not to say that they should always condone our sexual activities, but that they should be more open about sharing their views and experiences with us.

Parents are there for us as mentors and friends who give us advice and direction. They should guide us and provide helpful information. For example, in the movie “American Pie”, a father catches his son on the table “having sex” with an apple pie. He reacts in a polite way, understanding his son’s burning curiosity, and suggests a few things to relieve his tensions, such as “stroking the salami.” It’s pretty funny if you think about it, but it’s something that I would rather hear from my parents than scolding. I especially admire the father at the end of the movie, when the son is preparing for his prom. He says to his son, “be very very very careful…. when you put on…. the…. ccccccor-sage.” That is just what we need today in every home. It would allow teenagers to talk to their parents openly about sex and opens new doors of sexual acceptance in America’s future.