Love Is Not A Universal Value Essay, Research Paper

Love is not a universal value.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Everyone is a philosopher when it comes to love. Definitions are a dime a dozen . Some says, love is a rose, fragrant and beautiful, but thorny and painful . The modern mind thinks of love in vague, nebulous, existential and non-definable terms. It s something happens to you and can t be defined.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, love is a deep affection or fondness, sexual passion, sexual relations for beloved one or sweetheart. Love is one of the most precious and treasured feelings in one s life Love is known since the time of Adam and Eve. Being in love gives a sense of completeness. It makes one feel as if nothing else is needed in order to survive in this world. Sometimes, being in love can act as a stepping-stone, or a doorway passage into another world that you never knew what was out there.

Love can give you a new outlook on things, turns everything you ve ever known into something you never thought was possible. Love can also strengthen a tie or bond that you may have with someone, in a sense that you have that much more in common. Many love stories that we ve heard such as Romeo and Juliet, Laila and Majnun, Shah Jehan and Mumtaz Mahal, just to name a few. These love stories began with lavishing love but ended in griefs.

Love is said to strike when Cupid, the God of Love, struck the arrow of love to the victims, according to Greek Myth. So, the name of Cupid is used synonymously with the concept of love today. Is love so precious and great? However, does love has a universal value? Is it the same around the world? As for me, love is different between genders and cultures. Undeniably, love is different between projection love and love towards objects too.

Love has a different conception between individuals. Therefore, loves between genders are different too. Man and woman do not love the same way. Men, who are the dominant species, have a special way of expressing their love. A man feels when he is showing love by working to support his partner and spending time with her. But as for women, she prefers face to face intimacy such as hugging, sharing his feelings with her and others.

In a recent study, when a man was told to increase his affectionate behaviour towards his wife, he washed her car. He was surprised to discover that neither his wife nor the researchers viewed the car washing as an affectionate act. So what they fail to see is that he s expressing love, as he knows how to do it. Within his mental or emotional framework, it makes sense. I m sure he had better things to do than washing her car and by washing the car; it shows a genuine act of affection. But to her, it was merely a favor but not an act of love.

This study shows that men don t understand, this constant that needs for reassurance, (women want to hear, I love you) and this continuing desire to talk about feelings. Men want to get on with life and not talk it to death . They see woman s desires not as attempts to love and get closer but as irrelevant, trivial or nagging. Women, on the other hand, can t understand why men aren t more forthcoming about their feelings and with words of affection. So these show that man and woman has different ways in expressing their love. Surely, love is not a universal value.

Not only genders, but there are also difference between cultures. Eastern and Western cultures have a different perception all together. It is not easy to say why the representatives of different cultures are experiencing the same emotions, because emotions are not the simple reactions to people or events. They are more complex derivatives of feeling and ideas that become significant in concrete social and historical context.

If we see the western ways of expressing their love is totally different than the eastern way. They teach that almost every person falls in love. Children are prepared for love from early childhood. Even in fairy tale, we can counter motifs of love, struggle for the loved person and happy life after wedding. Cinderella, Snow white, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, just to name a few.

They are more open-minded and have a straightforward way in dealing with love. According to them, they that love is the seizing feeling, inspired with the beauty and character of the loved person and it strikes suddenly and uncontrollably at the first sight of the lover. They also believe that if a person who does not love his spouse anymore; he can take a bold step by deserting her. They don t mind about committing adultery and games of flirtation. They consider that as normal. Another example is when a man who asks a girl for a date . He will directly ask whether she agrees to go out with him or not. Thus, these show how these western cultures play its role.

But if we see, the concept of eastern culture, it s all together different. It is more prone to indirect way of approaching the girl. The man had to go a long process before he could ask her to go out. He need to get to know her first, talk with her for quite sometime and then he can take a bold step by asking her out. This is because eastern culture values politeness and shyness., Unlike western cultures eastern culture emphasis a true, loving and everlasting relationships. So, it truly shows that eastern and western cultures do not practice the same value of love.

Another kind of love is love to the nation. Patriotism has to be in every individuals mind. Patriotism towards the nation and country is very important. He will sacrifice himself for the country. He or she should belief that he is chosen to defend his own country against any attack or invasion of any foreigner. Our country needs man who loves his nations. Students are taught to love their country since young. It is implemented in every day s life. Our hearts swell with pride at the thought that our country could be a peaceful, harmonious and joyful country. As we the multi-racial country could live together is because we believe that love towards the nation and one s country is a necessity in life.

Love towards God should not be forgotten too. We love God, as he is the creator of human. Compassion and greatness towards God is very important. True love to God is the desire to do whatever possible to bring oneself close to him especially by understanding him and his teachings. He can contemplate all the good deeds that God does, and realize how he constantly watches and sustains all creation when one thinks about this.

God s love holds sway over the devotee in such a way that the devotee gives himself up entirely to the divine embrace and becomes civilized in being and action.

God is not merely one who loves should but one whose essence is love. Where there is love, there is God and where there is God, there is Love. God and Love are convertibles.

For example if we see in the SvetasvataraUpanishad, 6.23 (Hindu s holy book), it says

that To the great-souled man who has loyal and great love for his God, who loves his spiritual master even as his God, the matter of this discourse will shine with clearest light, with clearest light will shine. So, this shows that love towards God is different than the other kinds of love in the universe.

Lastly is love towards objects such as pets, hobbies and others could occur too. People tend to keep pets or have passions for their hobbies such as reading, traveling and drawing for example. Such passions towards these objects can be called Love too. This is not the same as you love or care for a person. These can be all together different kind of love.

People enjoy themselves doing these things because it can bring them happiness and joy. Imagine, rearing a cat or a fish for example. You can release your stress and tension whenever this pet of yours entertains you. Isn t it quite amazing? So, love towards pets is totally a different kind of love.

As you can see, love is definitely is not a universal value. It s particularly different according to genders, cultures and even individuals. Love can be described in many ways. Just like a saying goes, To be loved, be lovable. (Ovine, 43 B.C). Love is indeed a great thing and again I would like to say that Love is not a universal value because it is indeed not the same around this world.