I Am Only Fifteen Essay, Research Paper

I am only fifteen. How can this be happening to me? Larry assured me everything would be all right. But now here I am, pregnant. I am just a baby myself. What can I do? There are several options that I can choose. Should I have an abortion? Should I give the baby up for adoption? Should I stand up and be held accountable for my actions? I could not sell my child. I do not want my child feeling that she was unloved. Besides, Larry s parents had already told me that if I gave up the baby that they would take her. Adoption was out of the question. I do not believe in abortion as a form of birth control. This child has done nothing wrong. So why should I punish her? So my only option was to have the baby and raise her to the best of my ability. I believe that I made the right decision. This decision has changed every aspect of my life path.

This was the last thing that anyone had expected from me. I was a model child. I always listened to what ever my family had said. Well at least until now. My family had plans for my future and for me. But now those had changed. My mother and my Aunt Cindy had decided that the best thing for me was to have an abortion. They did not consider my feelings in the matter. Well I made a decision, I wanted to keep the baby and raise her. Larry had backed me up and we confronted my family. I refused to have the abortion. I told them that if they tried to make me have an abortion that I would leave and they would never see me again. Against my family s wishes I kept the baby. Even though my family still holds the decision against me, I feel it has made me a better person. I became more independent.

With my independence, came a lot of responsibilities that I never thought of before. I thought that Larry would be there to help me though everything. I was wrong! Within two months Larry was gone. He didn t stay gone for long. When times got tough for him, I was there. I was his rock. When I needed him to be my rock, he crumbled like sand.

The next time he decided to pop back into my life is when I was 4 + months pregnant. I was in the hospital. My contractions were now 5 minutes apart. I was losing my child. The doctors were not going to do anything to stop it. They told me that it was the best thing for me. Who were they to decide what was best for me? They are not God. They cannot choose who will live and who will die. They are not going to make this choice for me. At that moment, I got the courage that I needed. No one was going to take away my child. I demanded that the doctors do some thing to stop my labor. I threatened them with a huge lawsuit. Soon I was hooked up to an IV and was receiving the medication that I needed. After that I was always brave enough to tell someone exactly what I wanted and how I felt.

What I wanted was to provide the best life I could for my daughter. I was only a sophomore in high school. I was only getting average grades. I never applied myself. After having my daughter my whole perspective changed. I worked hard and received straight A s for my junior and senior year. I became more involved with school activities and even helped out in the child-care facility at the school. I wanted to learn everything I could so that I could become a better person and in turn a better mother to my child. My education was just on of my stepping-stones.

The next stepping-stone was work. How was I going to support this child? Larry was gone again. I did not expect to get anything from him. My parents were not in any financial position to help. I was and always will be responsible to provide for her. Therefore after school I took on two part-time jobs. The school gave me a work release form, which only allowed me to work 20 hours per weeks. This was not enough to buy formula, diapers and clothes for a growing baby. So I made a copy of the form and gave it to two different employers to get the hours and the money that I needed. I worked until 2:00am some days just so that I would have the money I needed for Jessica. Having her gave me the determination to accomplish any thing that I set my mind to.

Having a child did not only give me determination, independent thought and courage, it also gave me the sense of self worth. I now had a child that was completely dependent on me. I had to provide her with food, clothes, and shelter, which are the necessities of life. I also had to provide her with love. I gave this to her and it was given back whole-heartedly. There is nothing selfish about a child s love. They do not expect anything in return for it. This child taught me how not to be selfish and how to give my love whole-heartedly.

Jessica is now fifteen. She is at the same place in her life that I was when I became pregnant with her. I talk to her daily and let her know how important she is to me. I would not change my decision about having her and raising her, if given the choice. If I had to go back and make that decision again, I would not change my mind. But given the chance, I would not be put in that situation again. I would have waited to have sex or at least used some form of protection. I do not regret having her. I do regret having sex at such any early age and becoming pregnant. If I would have waited, I would have been able to give my daughter a better life that she has had. I hope that she never has to go through what I did. But if she does, I hope she makes the decision that is right for her, because I made the decision that was right for me.