Self-Esteem: Understanding The Concept Essay, Research Paper

Psychology 101

Self-Esteem: Understanding the Concept

Whether people know it or not, everyone has a self-esteem, but some

have better grasps on it than others do. Most people’s self-esteem

judgments are based on what they value, their beliefs or interests,

and the attitudes that they have (Beane, 1993, p. 6). Therefore it is

impossible to escape the notion that someone doesn’t have a self-esteem.

It is whatever they make it out to be, but not only do they choose their

own self-esteem, but others have a big part in deciding it as well.

I have two friends who are totally different in every aspect, especially

their self-esteem. My one friend Karis has a high self-esteem; she gets

good grades, is the star of the volleyball team, and has loving parents.

Davina on the other hand, has a low self-esteem. She’s not as bright

a student as she wants to be, nor does she play any sports, or have

loving parents. Her mother and father divorced a few years back, and

Davina has been forgotten ever since. She lived at her best freinds

house for a few years to finish schooling, as her father took off with

her little sisters and her mother moved away to start a new family.

Since her abandonment, Davina hasn’t been the same. She is afraid

to speak in class, always scared that others will make fun of her.

Her grades used to be good, but now she has no confidence that she

can pass the tests. Gym is a nightmare as Davina is reluctant to wear

shorts, always professing that she is to fat. She will only sit with

her friend! s at lunch, to frightened to go out of her way and make

new friends, and she never smiles. Davina is convinced that everyone

talks about her behind her back, and when a teacher asks her a question

she slinks back in her chair, afraid of the snickers she’ll receive

if she gives the wrong answer. Self-esteem involves an individual’s

sense of self worth (Beane, 1984, p. 6), and Davina seems to have none.

Self-evaluations of a person physical appearance are defiantly linked to

self-esteem (Baumeister, 1993, p. 95), and Davina hates the way she

looks.

She’s a beautiful girl and she’d be so much prettier if she smiled once

in awhile, but Davina doesn’t believe her peers. What a person thinks

of

himself or herself is going to show through their attitude and behavior

(Beane, 1984, p. 26). It is also determined by what others think.

Friends and relatives can have a great impact on what a person thinks

of himself or herself. This can either be good or bad, and in Davina’s

case, ! it’s awful. Since her parents walked out on her, she seems

untrusting of everyone except her closest friends. Even then it is

hard to get through to her, I think she has given up on herself, making

her self-esteem lower than is already is.

Karis has nothing but warmth and love at home. Her parents help her

study, commend her on her grades, and always brag to their friends about

how well she is doing juggling both volleyball and school. On the

refrigerator door her parents have put up all the carefully cut out

newspaper clipping’s that show Karis playing volleyball, her place on

the honor roll, and the pictures of her being inducted into the national

honor society. This certainly brightens Karis’s spirits as she sees

how proud her parents really are of her, and I believe that this is a

big part of her self-esteem. Having her parents there for her around

the

clock really helps. It is very obvious that her parents are proud of

her.

Karis always goes out of her way to make people feel at home and she has

many friends because of it. In class she speaks loudly, projecting her

voice, even if her answer is wrong. She doesn’t mind the snickers of

her classmates; she just shrugs it off and smiles. Karis doesn’t think

down on herself at all, if anything, she may think to high of herself,

but she at least has a well-rounded sense of her self worth. If a

person sees themselves as competent in areas where they have set their

goals, then they will have good self-esteem (Baumeister, 1984, p. 88).

That is exactly what Karis has done. She is happy with her appearance,

her grades, her volleyball achievements, and she really loves her

parents.

Maybe Davina just suffers from an “identity crisis,” which most

adolescence tend to struggle with, but I believe that the real problem

is that her parents aren’t there for her. If Davina had the approval

of her parents in the beginning, I don’t think she would be this way.

I think that Davina feels that it’s her fault that her parents

separated,

and when neither wanted her, she lost all her self worth. She just

couldn’t make the grades in school anymore, although she really wants

too.

If a person falls short of their goals and is unsuccessful, then they

will have a low self-esteem (Baumeister, 1984, p. 88). I think that is

also part of the problem. Davina used to get good grades, in the back

of her mind she knows she could do it again. Unfortunately she lost

all confidence when her parents left her. Davina wanted approval from

her parents and was dependent on them to be there for her, like Karis’s

parents are, but Davina’s parents weren’t able to meet up with her stan!

dards, and so her standard of self-support wasn’t available to herself

(Beane, 1993, p. 104). All Davina needed was her parents to tell her

that she was doing good, that she wasn’t fat, and that they loved her,

but instead they walked right out of her life. Rosenberg found that

adolescents are mainly concerned with what their peers think of them,

but those with low self-esteem tend to worry more about what others say,

unlike those will high self esteem (Baumeister, 1984, p. 24). Just by

looking at my two friends, it is obvious that Rosenberg was correct in

his

assumptions. Karis doesn’t care that much about what others think, but

Davina is always questioning and wondering what people will say about

her

if she does this or that. The teenage years are said to be the hardest.

This is when teens go through many changes, and have an “identity

crisis”

(Beane, 1993, p. 23). They are always trying to find where they fit in,

what their role is in life. Finding a good stable self-esteem is they

key to a healthy life and a good self-esteem.

References

Baumeister, Roy F. (Eds.). (1993). Self -Esteem, the puzzle of

Self-Regard. New York:

Plenum Press.

Beane, James A. (1984). Self-Concept, Self-Esteem, and the Curriculum.

New York: Teachers

College Press.