How Does Your Child Act? Essay, Research Paper

How Does Your Child Act?

First of all I think that in the back of every parents mind are questions concerning

their child?s future. Like will it be a doctor, a lawyer, or the next president of the United

States. But with these questions there are also more questions that are not discussed

freely like what if it is a bad child or it is uncontrollable? And will it do drugs or try

alcohol and smoke cigarettes? Another question that might be in the back of a parents

mind is about its child?s sexual orientation. I know this may seem far fetched to some

people but if I had a child right now in todays world, that question would not be in the

back of my mind but in the front. I know that any parent and including me will love their

child no matter what it?s sexual orientation, but I know that most if not all parents would

prefer that their kids be straight. This is not so they won?t be embarrass or ashamed by

their child, but only for the protection of their child. As we all know this world is not a

safe place for people that are different. I think that parents are concerned when their girl

acts like a tomboy, but they get really scared when their son starts doing what we

traditionally consider girl stuff. A child should be raised to be whomever he or she

chooses and the child shouldn?t have to accept society, but society should accept the child

for who they are.

A parents reaction to their daughter acting like a tomboy is very passive and they

play it off humorously and sometimes they even encourage it. This doesn?t apply to some

parents but most parents react this way when their daughter acts like a boy and does boy

stuff. I used to know a girl that was a tomboy. She always hung around with boys even

in middle school. She had al guy friends and would play boys games. Not once did I ever

hear her parents say anything to make her stop acting like a tomboy, instead they

encouraged. For instance they used to take all her friends, we were all boys to baseball

games and hockey games. There was never another girl there except for herself. And I

guess she felt comfortable hanging around with boys and her parents didn?t mind as long

as she was happy, because that was really what mattered. On the other hand there was my

neighbors son. This boy was the total opposite of the girl. He never played with boys but

he was always around girls. He was always teased by the other boys including me, but we

were all young back then. But looking back at this, it?s weird to notice that we always

made fun of the boy who acted like a girl but never did I hear anyone make fun of the girl.

I think that the boys parents were more upset about the little boys playmates than anyone

else. The boys father, my neighbor used to push the boy into doing boy stuff like playing

little league baseball and pop warner football. Whenever the father saw us boys playing

football or basketball on the street, he would literally drag the boy out of the house to

make him play with us. The little boy would be in tears crying but you could still hear his

father encouraging him to play. We all knew that the boy was scared straight by his father

and dared not to disobey his father, but he didn?t want to play. Even the boys mother was

like his father. If other girls came to play with the boy, she would not let him out. So

then a couple of boys used to go and get him out of his house, which his mom agreed to

so he could secretly play with the other girls. Looking back at this makes me think that

those actions by both the girl and the boy didn?t really mean anything because we were

only nine or ten years old.

There are a lot of reasons to why there is a double standard for girls acting like

boys and boys acting like girls. The boys get the hard rough end of the stick. Everyone is

okay with girls acting like tomboys but as soon as a boy acts like a girl, he is considered

to be gay, or it is considered unexceptable behavior. I am one of those people. I don?t

know what it is but as soon as I do see a guy who acts like a girl, I think that he is gay and

I know most people feel the same. I think that this is societies fault. I say this because as

kids everyone is taught to be athletic and play boy things like football, baseball, and

basketball. And it doesn?t matter if girls play these sports because society accept it, there

are women?s basketball leagues and soccer leagues. But nothing is ever considered a girl

sport. The saying, ?It?s a mans world?, has a lot of meaning behind it. I say this because

men are considered superior to women and if people?s daughters act like men there?s not a

problem because you get more respect and more money doing man stuff than you would

get doing women stuff. So the boys that are acting like girls, in their parents mind are

taking a step backward instead of accepting being a man and receiving all the benefits of

being a man. There is the double standard.

Personally my belief on homophobia is that people tend to be scared of things that

are different and about things that they are not educated on or don?t know enough about.

Take me for instance I am all right about talking to a lesbian, I have no problem with that.

But you can never make me talk to a gay guy. That is one thing I would never be able to

do. To honest with you it grosses me out and I don?t even know why. This doesn?t mean

I hate gay guys, it just means that if I knew that some guy was gay I just wouldn?t ever

talk to him. This is true for all my friends because we have discussed it before. And we

are not anti gay or anything it just that we are scared of things we don?t understand and

really don?t want to understand. There again is the double standard because in my mind

it?s okay for some girl to be a lesbian but it?s not okay for a guy to be gay. I remember in

high school when there was a rumor going around that a teacher was gay, he was a male

teacher. It just so happened that this was currently my teacher. After hearing that rumor,

if it was a rumor or the truth, I was never able to talk to that teacher again.

Furthermore I believe that the little boys doing girl stuff and the little girls doing

boy stuff will eventually grow out of doing so. It?s just a phase. Maybe at that point in

the child?s life they are not interested with what their sex does and doesn?t care for it. I

came to this conclusion because I have seen it happen. Remember the boy and girl I

discussed earlier? Well they turned out all right, because I still know both of them and

they are pretty close friends of mine. The girl just grew out of the jeans and a shirts. As

soon as she got to high school she stopped hanging around with us boys, and nobody

minded it. But she was still very athletic and was on the softball and basketball teams in

high school. And the boy also just grew out of his phase. He was even on my football

team in high school, he was pretty athletic in all sports. Last I heard from him was that he

was going to be a doctor. In the end something good did come out of him doing ?girl

stuff?. So in the end I think it?s up to the child when she or he wants to move out of the

phase they are going through. And I don?t believe that parents should push their child to

act like their own sex. I know that?s more easier to say than do, and plus I am not a

parent yet. If the child doesn?t change because they don?t want to, well than we as a

society should try to help that child feel accepted and not rejected. Because they most

likely already feel rejected cause they are different.