Satire Essay, Research Paper

?In a Blaze of Glory?

There is nothing like waking up first thing in the morning and taking a nice, big puff from a cigarette. Some people think smoking is bad for the human body, but there are many benefits.

Smoking is really relaxing and helps to eliminate daily stress. Besides that, smoking also keeps the weight off. It is proven that when someone quits smoking, they gain weight. Why would anyone want to gain weight? Everyone knows being too fat is bad for the heart! Some people complain of being addicted, but that is a small price to pay. Smokers never have to buy perfume again, because their cloths, house, hands, and car all have that wonderful ash smell. That smell is enchanting and probably reminds people of camping or something fun!

Sure there are those people who think smoking is violating their right to clean air. Well, if they do not like it, they do not have to breathe it. People want to save everything. There are even people who want me to waste my time and go slow in my boat just to avoid those large blubbery things.

There are several attractive and successful people that smoke. George Burns and Babe Ruth both smoked and they did well in life. Smoking is very attractive though, and it makes zzzzzswwaskg;hlasn;kljdgkjsaegerhkgnoivionanvikrhaghra hkjrh,?..Oops! Excuse me, I had one of my coughing spells. It is strange; the spells are more and more frequent lately. I must be allergic to something. Oh well, I would love to tell you all of the other reasons smoking is good, but I have to go bleach my teeth white now.