Parents Just Don’t Understand Essay, Research Paper

Parents Just Don’t Understand

Before Will Smith started his big solo career as a rap artist, he and his friend, Jazzy Jeff, had a song called, “Parents Just Don’t Understand.” It was a big hit, particularly for youth. The song was about how ‘parents just didn’t understand’ the trends and the way life was in those days for kids. Smith told about situations he had with his parents and his audience could easily relate to these situations, thus, making the song a hit. Smith was right on track with part of his message. Parents just don’t understand. They do not understand that their job as parents is to pay attention to how they raise their children. Though there are parents who do a wonderful job raising their children, many parents neglect their responsibility in child development. In this paper, the following will be discussed: the diversion the government makes in the operation of parental duties when it steps in to discipline a young person, and the parents teaching discipline in values and morals.

There are times when government action prevents parents from developing the child themselves. According to Liz Seymour, Los Angeles Times staff writer, one instance involves a high school senior. He was not caught with enough marijuana after being pulled over to receive a citation, but his school decided to transfer him to another school “89 days before graduation” (Seymour B2). After his parents took the issue to court and won, the senior stayed and did not transfer. The punishment exceeded the severity of the crime. Why did the school system think that exporting this student would help his life and education? A new school will not solve a drug problem. Another case in St. Petersburg reflects another situation with a school. Greg Hamilton composed an article in the Citrus Times that was about a 13-year-old who refused to attend school. After numerous attempts were taken by the court and his mother to keep the child in school, the problem had not been resolved. The court even went so far as to try to reach the child by threatening his mother with jail time if she did not keep him in school. Eventually, the child was placed in juvenile detention for a few days and the mother had a weekend vacation in ‘the pen.’ Did this action help the child’s problem? Though there is no definite answer, the verdict may have been a waste of time. As Hamilton puts it, “Where is the line between society’s role in the raising of a child and that of the parent?” (Hamilton 1). It seems the punishment just covered up the problem instead of correcting it. One question: where is the child now? In response to an editorial in The Columbus Dispatch, Marjorie Renspie voiced her opinion stating that parents should be given the chance to raise their children (12A). The situation involved a teen who had done some things that made him a criminal in society’s eyes, and the court sent him to a juvenile detention center in Jamaica. Renspie felt that shipping the delinquent to Jamaica prevented the opportunity for the parents to work with him. Her main argument was that the key influence a child has is its parents. The parents, in Renspie’s eyes, were the ones who could help this kid and sending him off would not help at all (12A). The parent should raise the child, not society. Yet, in spite of this great idea, still parents do not do the job.

Amongst the obstacles parents encounter while developing their children, they overlook a few things in the process. Parents have neglected teaching their children discipline. In the case of the child who refused to attend school, the mother had neglected to teach her son the importance of school attendance. To fill the gap the parent left, the judge’s rule was so that they would “be accountable for themselves” (Hamilton 1). Recall the ‘marijuana senior.’ His parents had not taught him the dangers of drugs and had not engrained in him the discipline to stay away from drugs. Both instances are examples in which the parents had not done their job and society had to step in. Parents simply need to teach discipline.

Along with teaching discipline, parents should attend to teaching values and morals so they are not neglected. Hamilton writes that the people who leave their children to be raised by other adults in such things as Little League, school, and church, expect to have “all manner of social graces, work ethic, and values” instilled in their kids, and will stand ready to jump on the person if it is not done (Hamilton 1). Hamilton’s concept: the parents deliberately neglect their role. Why is it that parents think that they can just get away with doing their job? If they are responsible enough to bring the child into the world, they should be responsible enough to teach it and raise it properly. By teaching values and morals, the child will most likely grow up generally feeling better about who they are. The child values itself, and has a sense of self-worth. No longer will the child feel apt to throw their life around as if it is a joke, rather something of value not to take for granted. In Marjorie Renspie’s letter to the editor, she claims that “using drugs, driving recklessly, taking no responsibility for one’s well-being and being a threat to society as well as to one’s family are much more serious problems” (12A). She was leaning towards the severity of the actions of children in the past. Actions in the past included stealing cars, serious vandalism, and other similar instances. For ‘bad seed’ youth, the roots to their problems start with the individuals themselves. From there, it branches out to worse things. Both the root and branches can be signs of underdevelopment. Here is where the parent receives a sign telling them their work is not good enough.

It is clear that there are times when society gets in the parents’ way of raising their child, yet in the midst of that, the parent misses the parts of teaching discipline, morals and values. The popular saying goes like this: It takes a village to raise a child. However, the village can get in the parent’s way and then there are problems. The parent should have the most impact in raising a child. Society can be there for nurturing, but the main job should be done by the parents. And that is what is missing in the world today. Parents are not doing their job.