Cognitive Approach Therapy Essay, Research Paper

Do you have a friend or relative that has problems with their boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband? These types of relationships are very common in society. Lots of couples are together for all the wrong reasons. Some of the reasons are attraction, money, lonely, family, friends, and blind love. For example, your friend has been going out with a very beautiful lady for one year. Every time you see them they are fighting over some ridiculous event or thing. You wonder how these two stay together. Some of the reasons that they have fought are “we don’t spend enough time together: when in fact every moment they have free, they are together. If they are not together they are on the phone constantly. This is when someone needs to let go and realize that they are not meant for each other. People are scared to let go because of many reasons. When looking at the problems, you would wonder, how can they help someone that is not willing to change or take on knew responsibility as a single person. This paper will give some suggestions to answering this question and help understand the Cognitive approach therapy.

First lets define cognitive therapy. Cognitive therapy comes from the word cognition. Cognition is defined (Arthur p.133) as a broad term traditionally used to refer to such activities as thinking, conceiving and reasoning. Many psychologists have used it to refer to any class of mental behaviors. The underlying characteristics are of an abstract and involve symbolizing, insight, expectancy, complex rule use, imagery, belief, intentionality, problem solving, and so forth. Aaron T. Beck was the developer of cognitive therapy. He based Cognitive Therapy on the notion of how people structured and interrupted their behaviors, and directing behaviors towards negative and positive emotions.

A question brought to our attention is the word relationship. What does relationship mean? Relation is a sense of commitment to another person. So why are relationships so hard to handle for people. From talking to friends, watching television and reading magazines many say that love keeps people together. But if you think about the relationships some people stay in relationships that are not very loving and happy. People are arguing, fighting and having other relations. These types of relationships are not healthy at all. Barry Lubetkin and Elena Oumando say “the most common reason why people do not bail out, get out of a bad relationship is due to the fact that they are in fear on certain aspects of life. You must be able to identify and challenge the fears and their core cognitive components that keep you stuck”. On this paper (Lubetkin and Oumando p.50) it is to believe an irrational cognitive component is the basis of every fear you have; it is what fuels it and keeps it viable. The descriptions of (Lubetkin and Elena p.51-60) are the twelve syndromes people go threw when they are in fear of ending a relationship. The paper will give six of Lubetkin and Elena twelve syndromes that were the best-situated fears,

1) The Robinson Crusoe Syndrome, the fear that you cannot survive or function alone, that some dreadful consequence will befall you if you try to function independently.

2) The Once Bit, Twice Shy Syndrome, you that a second failure after bailing out would be even more devastating than the first.

3) The Old Maid Aunt Syndrome, your fear in losing friends that you have made as a couple and losing the status you made as a couple.

4) The Black Sheep Syndrome, you fear disapproval from friends, children, relatives, and your partner’s parents.

5) The Last Chance Syndrome, you are in fear that you will not find anyone else thinking that you are undesirable creep and lucked into the relationship.

6) The Weak Sister Syndrome, when you try to break it off but you them make the decision, because you are afraid of your partner.

From a person’s perspective, these characteristics linger in relationships until someone builds the courage to end it.

Lets Discuss the Robinson Crusoe Syndrome. The (RC) syndrome described by (Lubetkin and Omando) Are problems of such, imagery of all the horrendous possibilities that will occur when you are stranded on the desert island of aloneness. You fear that you won’t be able to handle the single scene. You fear of other people rejecting you and fearing that you won’t have another good relationship. Robinson Crusoe Syndrome has a little of the other twelve syndromes that described. But the question here is how do Cognitive Therapist approach relationship problems of this sort.

Sense Cognitive therapist see people as thinking in distorted ways, therapist try to have couples in thinking positive ways that will help them. People who believe that they have nothing to do or in the stage of low self esteem (Burns p.50) suggest they need to substitute creative, rewarding activities, for their usual dreary life style. Here is list of suggestions that (Burns p.50) presents towards this type of cognition. They might seem stupid and ridiculous because we all think that people do think this way. This is the conception that other people think as we live our lives with are other half. Think of things you used to enjoy doing with someone else, such as going to play, shopping, or hiking. Develop a skill like, karate, golf, weight lifting, or dancing. This allows people to grow and create a better life fulfilling self-esteem. Many times people end up staying home and allowing themselves to isolate, (Burns p.51) being alone will never make you unhappy, but treating yourself in an unloving manner certainly will. What Burns means by this not treating yourself to good things in life. For example buying your self a nice dress, taking yourself to a nice restaurant. These are things that allow you for new experiences and new people.

In conclusion couples do go threw problems. It is not easy to just throw away years of commitment and partnership. When you have two people that think different and act different, chances are that someone will get upset and disagree all the time. Many times they will end up in a bad fight over little things. You can’t say hi to anybody. Can’t hang out with other friends or do things that will take up time. These are flaws that couples go threw. The question is how do people handle it? Many believe that therapy can help you, but which one. Cognitive therapy would be a good choice due to the fact that it works with future aspirations. It goes somewhat towards the course of psychotherapy. It then relates it to ways of creating good self-esteem and fulfilling your abilities.