Sociology: What Love Is? Essay, Research Paper

This experiment is based on the idea that most people when given a few drinks will be much more honest and open about their feelings. This is how it went down; Friday night, 8pm, my parents house, Wellfleet, Ma., 5 high school friends, plenty of beer, and …… MY EXPERIMENT!! My subjects consist of; 4 SWM?s and 1 SAF, ranging in age from 24 to 26, 3 attended college, and the other 2 have worked odd jobs and lived at home with their parents since graduation (1993). Unfortunately, Cape Cod (Provincetown to Brewster) tends to be a relatively homogenized area which leaves one with lower-to-upper middle class families and the occasional upper class family (not seen too often around these parts…they go to private schools instead). This gives everyone a fantasy land sense of how love is too pure or abstract to be effected by economics or social status. It is for this reason that I am not going to focus on their views about love and economics. So, without further delay, the love question….

What do you think love is?

Christopher Macklin, SWM, age: 25, self employed landscaper, lives w/parents:

Love (to me) means giving up all that I really enjoy doing. No more hanging

out with friends, no more parties, over-all no more freedom. Every time I

thought I loved a girl nothing good would happen, my life turns to *censored* when

love comes through the door. I actually think that no ?real man? is capable of

love, they just give in to satisfy their girlfriends emotional needs. Love is a

female oriented emotion that men aren?t able to grasp or understand. It all

boils down to this; women want love and respect and all that other stuff that

goes along with the house with the white picket fence, and men want sex with

hot women, period…. Cut a mans arms and legs off, and he will be perfectly

content as long as the sex never ends……..

Samuel Provost, SWM, age: 24, unemployed college grad, shares a house with his brother:

caring, and being considerate of another person?s feelings….. Being in love

is that and also becoming best friends and depending on each other for that

love to be shown, shared, rather good or bad moments in ones life… Love can

be just a moment, where being in love can last a lifetime. Being in love takes

two very special people who understand one another and can forgive and

forget, regardless of the pain. Love can mean not being sure of your feelings

for that other person… Being in love means that you accept someone for who

they are completely.

Amy Macklin, SWF, age: 24, works in a bakery, lives at home w/parents:

Love means; understanding, happiness, sacrifice. It?s more than just sex, or

kissing… it?s support, friendship, comfort, worry, pain, loss, excitement……

It?s all sorts of things all rolled up into one. Love is feeling your heart skip

a beat whenever his name is mentioned. Love is never-ending……

Sean Patterson, SWM, age: 24, landscape architect, lives alone:

I?m going to have to side with Chris on this one. Love sucks! Love has been

responsible for more pain in my life than I am willing to admit. My last two

?real? relationships have ended with a girl (who says she loves me) cheating on

me. If that is love, I?ll pass. Give me all of the one-night stands that I can

handle, that is my kind of love!

Andrew Patterson, MWM, age: 26, currently attending school, lives w/wife:

I think best in lists, so here goes;

- a ?need? that we all have to ?give? ourselves to another.

- washing the dishes when your hands hurt.

- staying when you want to leave.

- the feeling you get when she looks in your eyes

- just being yourself and loving someone else for the same.

- wanting to give, and knowing you may not get what you wanted back.

- putting yourself second, swallowing your pride now and then.

Is that enough?…..

Obviously I focused on the male side of love, mainly due to the fact that its what I know. It also didn?t hurt that those are just about the only high school friends I have that still live on the Cape. I also picked this group of friends because they are the most intertwined (incestuous) group of people I have every met. Sean dated Amy, Chris dated Sean and Andy?s older sister, Andy once dated my fianc?e, and Sam just wanted everyone. Chris and Sean definitely fall into the category of the stereotypical male, showing a complete distrust of love and the opposite sex. Its no secret that these two aren?t out looking for wives. Sam and Andy are both involved with ?significant? others. Amy is also involved with someone with plans of marriage sometime in the near future. One can conclude from this survey that overall men don?t hold love in quite the same light as women. For some men it is a completely foreign concept, and for others it almost comes ?naturally? with age. Personally I think women are programmed w/a def. of love at birth.